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lp13a13ex54x (profile) wrote,
on 5-28-2003 at 8:21pm
Music: *linkin park*faint*
Subject: getting better i suppose
*waves* oiy, i hope that rushing back into a relationship with eddie all of a sudden isnt something that ill regret. i mean i care about him, dont get me wrong..but there are just alot of things that im going through right now, mixed emotions and wotnot. and sometimes those things are just easier to work out by yourself..if you can stomache it. kathy gave zane the note today. and im like..::shakes:: my whole body was trembling earlier and i really want to know what hes going to write back to me. then again if its bad im kind of on the line of NOT wanting to know at all. but this all has to get cleared up, it just has to. i just keep thinking about that dream i spoke about in earlier entires and i can only imagine how absolutely wonderful things would be if that all came true. oh i wish, i really do! *crosses fingers and nearly faints* thats all i want in this life

* the field trip is tomorrow morning and i just cant wait! oh, life is looking so much better these couple days and now it all just rests in the hands of zane and his reply to my note. my heart has been shattered many a' times before by the same person and if it happens again i dont know what else i can do! but i know that it wont be pretty because im not very level headed when im depressed, anyone can tell you that much.

well today in school it was alright, we got our tshirts for the field trip, which i regret because they could look more gay. ugh, damn jennifer norwood. horrible person she is! stupid little t i told all of my friends though, once we arrive at the park im just gonna turn it inside out. wee hee .::smirk::.

kathy came over after school today and it was really fun, eddie walked us both over to mi place, yippi! we just talked most of the time and i wrote her a note cus iy wuv her and she was saying how she has only gotten like one note since this year has begun. plus i had to bring up some stuff to her that i couldnt in front of my mom, heh. i wuv you kathy! and of course my fiance josh! ::smiles::..hes a shush you didnt hear it from me.

kathy left and then i went to 711 to stock up on candy and gum and get everything together for tomorrow mornings trip! again im so excited, the bus ride is gonna be hell though, thank any superior being that we are allowed to bring headphones, yesh!! ::grins and blasts headphones:: whoopsys.

i already know that tomorrow on the trip my friends matt and quinton are going to stalk me and renee and she swears that shes going to kick their ass..its quite interesting actually. i do hope kaan is going on the trip but i highly doubt it. ::sniffle sniffle:: i know alot of people who arent going and it pisses me off because this is when i FINALLY decide to do ANYTHING school related outside of school. heh. just my luck i suppose ::tilts head:: =/

well im talking to emma right now, ::waves to john because she can:: so im gonna hurry up and wrap this up...oo also jeremy. eh heh. the one with the sexy friend john..and whos also gunna pierce my belly! hehe. koolness much. god...still very nervous about what zanes gonna say, wish me luck you guys! even though most of you dont even care but i do! its everything to me. and i know that probably nobody will be able to understand that but thats ok! because i do :::breathes because she feels like shes gunna start pacing across the room at any second:: okay my mind is thinking faster than my hands can possibly move so im gonna go before the keyboard of the computer explodes! bwah. love you guys, bye. hope that i dont get killed for some reason in orlando tomorrow! lols. i dont know why i would but im just a morbid thinker like that. heh heh. -Steph

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