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|TaoMan1121 (profile) wrote, |
on 6-9-2003 at 8:36pm
|Current mood: clueless
Music: Evanescence - Tourniquet
Subject: i tried to kill the pain, but only brought more...
|"Ignore everyone, and whatever happens, happens. It's life and you can only do so much." - Joe Burgess
Thank you Joe. That's exactly what I needed right now. It's such simple advice, but it hits home so well. Simplicity has never been a strength of mine. I've come to conclusions, challenged prior concepts and beliefs, and then have requestioned it all. I'm done. Instinct is behind the wheel now, and I'm going to make some mistakes along the way because of it, but that's life. Maybe without the scurtiny, I might actually find a way to make less. I'm done second-guessing myself. I've spent the past couple of months attempting to pull togehter all the answers, only to discover I'm much farther than when I started. But in a way I am, because I am learning that there are few universal and absolute truths, learning that there is that extensive gray area that encompasses the spectrum between black and white.
I'm sorry, I'm more sorry than you could imagine. I don't want it to be like this anymore than you do. I don't have all the answers you are looking for, I'm just trying to bullshit my way through this little thing called life. I don't know how to proceed from here, I don't know how to heal the wounds that I've inflicted upon you. My intention was never to hurt you.
"I'm so tired of being here
Supressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real..."
- Evanescence, My Immortal