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|adiosesposito (profile) wrote, |
on 6-11-2003 at 1:39am
|Music: godspeed you black emperor- F#A#oo
|The snow-covered ground caught my eye. I noticed this park had stopped bristling with energy as dusk approached. As I searched for an appropriate place for this meeting, I saw a kid, no more than eight years of age, slip and fall on the ice-bitten ground. A warm smile fell over my face, as I found humor in the fact that I found this accident comical. I sat down at a slightly frosted bench, leaving space for one beside me. As I waited, I would like to say there were thoughts running through my head, but it seemed as though the winter air froze the thought out of me.
Slowly, he appeared from the top of a nearby hill. His hair wasn't as thick, nor dark as I remembered it. I noticed that he walked without the same youthful swagger as we all did before we encountered the real world. I never did look to see if I had lost mine. He took his seat on his respective side of the bench. We were always against shaking hands, or any salutation in fact. For awhile we sat there, neither saying a word, taking brief glimpses at each other, as if we were trying to learn everything about each other's last decade and a half of living from the way we looked. From his finely tailored suit, exotic loafers, and wrinkle-laced face, I could gather a few hints at his life. Must be a lawyer, maybe even a partner. Unfaithful wife that craves more excitement than what her marriage has doled out to her. Two soccer-playing kids, still too young to be crestfallen with the typical cynicism and angst that comes with puberty. A maid named Bessie who makes their lunches, which they naturally trade with other kids on balogna sandwich days.
He no doubt gathered from my dirty corduroy jacket and seemingly invulnerable old Adidas that I had made a terrible mess of my life. Which would make my day. Finally he turned to me, wearing a sly-smile, and said it.
"I won, and you lost."
And I noticed that when I looked into the eyes of this once-familiar man, I saw contempt. I saw a victory-craving man. I saw a stranger. I just laughed to myself, finding this to be amusing.
"I am right, and you are wrong."
This is what he served up to me, seeing that his first statement didn't faze me. I returned his serve with a wide smile. So naturally, he began to let all of the past winter's frustrations show.
"And I never did like your face."
I unleashed a loud laugh. Tears almost streamed down my face with glee. I gathered myself together, and said the only right thing.
"My old friend, I have never had a job, because I never wanted one."
I leaned over and gave him a hug. Not a short one. No, the long, embraceful kind. I noticed he had given in, and begun to cry, not out of joy, but out of shame, sadness, grief. I let go, and got up. He raised his hand to say goodbye, but I shook my head, reminding him of our old rule. I started walking, not looking back at my fallen friend. Seeing that night was about to descend on the city, I gave a final smile, that one could only get when they knew that they were, in fact, the winner.
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