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lp13a13ex54x (profile) wrote,
on 6-25-2003 at 2:01pm
Current mood: relieved
Music: good charlotte- boys and girls
Subject: a little better...
hey everyone. sup? well, i had a long interesting talk with Robby last night. hes so much different then who people perceive him to be, and hes just a really nice person. i asked him about ray and he said all in general, that ray is a pretty good guy, and that from what i told him about ray and my relationship so far, i should still play it safe, but he thinks that were doing pretty well. he told me that if ray were to cheat on me, he would do it pretty early on and not wait until were really crazy about eachother, so everything looks good so far. i still have yet to talk to ray though, but robby told me alot about this girl that he really liked, and how he asked her out but she broke up with him the next day because of something that she heard about him from other people, about his past. i dont want to do that to ray unless i absolutely have to. ray seems so sweet to me and i really do care about him, alot in fact. so im willing to wade everything out for a while and just see how things go, i know that ill still feel much better when i talk to ray about all of this. i just want to know how serious he is about me and his opinion about everything that i would say to him. i would hate to just ruin the relationship without even knowing if hes doing anything wrong, there isnt any use in that when we could have something really nice going on for the both of us. robby was right though, he said not to get too emotionally attatched to ray right off the bat, and to just get to know him alot better first before anything further develops. wow...robbys a smart kid, lol. its funny how people think he is and how he really is...because those are two completely different sides. after we talked about ray we talked about alot of other things...from sex to ignorant people and whatnot. i wish i would have saved the conversation, hes such a nice person and im glad that i stayed and talked to him last night because he made me feel a lot better about all of the ray stuff and about myself too. robby said that he loves my perspective about things and that he would love to date me some time. taint that nice? i didnt know that he could be so serious about something but everything we talked about just goes to show you that you cant just sit and judge people without getting to know who they really are. we even discussed robby himself and how some people just hate him because they make stereotypes about him, and how ignorant some people are. how people should just try to work on improving themselves rather than criticize other people because maybe then they would accomplish alot more. i feel like someone can never feel like they have completed themselves..theres always something else that you can do to make yourself a better person and maybe if more people realized that instead of trying to argue about other people who they have nothing to do with at all..this world might not be so fucked up. but nonetheless, ignorance is always going to be a part of life and you have to learn to accept it and move on just knowing who you are yourself, because the people who criticize you arent you and its just gonna be their own fault if they dont take the time to get to know you. gossip and discrimination only gets one so far, and eventually it gets old. you just have to learn to ignore the people who will never change and try to work with the people who have the potential to be so much more than that. thats all there really is to it, life i mean, just try to survive, have fun and stay happy with yourself no matter what anyone else says to try and interfere. if you try to convert into what somebody else says you are, you wont get anywhere. because if everyone else in the world was taken away from you all you would have to live with would be yourself, and if thats something that you believe you are because of something that some ignorant bastard says, you cant live like that. well enough of my rambling. about ray, im not sure where he is but i cant wait to talk with him. until then though, i guess im just hoping that i can trust him, because thats the base of a relationship. until next time people, goodbyes -Stephanie

p.s- something robby also said to me, was that ray is a lucky guy..it makes me think if ray feels the same way about himself or not..just something else i must discuss with him i suppose...and i qwas talking to saira last night as well, and it old her all about ray and how he meant alot to me and she asked me if i told him that and it made me think. no i didnt tell him that. but i should...and i will as soon as i get the chance..thanks guys, i love you.
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