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spud (profile) wrote,
on 2-24-2002 at 1:50pm
Current mood: mellow
Music: mom being SEVERELY UPSET
Subject: friends
i haven't posted in awhile, and my recent posts have been pretty whiny. i just got done reading all my friends journal entries since, like, the 19th. you would think that it would be disappointing to hear that many of them came back from florida feeling down, out, sick, and tired, but it was reassuring. i've felt like crap for the last two weeks, and almost all of it has been inexplicable. you just get sick of feeling bad, and trying to figure out why. but seeing how my friends seem to be recovering has made everything a lot more relaxed. i'm not even sure why. i know that not all of them have cleared up their problems, and those who need to should be encouraged to do so. of late, there has been one bean that i have been particularly concerned about. they know who they are. but in fact, it seems like i've all of the nick-named ones have been on my mind lately. most people don't know the reason why i care, and sometimes even i do. i just hope they know that i do care, and that they can count on me. i don't mean i'm always gonna be there, or i'll always have lunch money for 'em, but for the kind of stuff that's deeper than that, and goes without saying. lots of my recent time has been spent looking at the big picture. why we're here, and how we interact while we're here. i just want you all to know that in the last year and ever since i've moved to cedar, i have developed a plethera of friends that i hold near and dear to my heart, and have really helped develop my personality, sense of humour, and mental health. i appreciate it greatly, and put forth my best effort to reciprocate it. i'm not always able to, but rest assured that the energy is put forth, from the furthest reaches of my being. there are many who could misconstrue this, but i hope that that does not happen. it's just kinda the sappy goes without saying thing, that can just make you melt inside. that's a feeling i've gone without for awhile, and it's good to have back. thank you all.
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