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viking-punk (profile) wrote,
on 9-24-2003 at 4:08pm
Current mood: stressed
Music: thinking of evanescence in my head
Subject: damn life...
i'm freaking out bout the dumbest things right now...I JUST DON'T WANT TO GROW UP...i'm tired of thinking bout the future...here's what's going on in my stupid little head of mine:

college
marriage
smoking
sex
homework
my relationship with parents
death
driving
eating
pregnancy
music
teaching
family
band
work (radio)
finding better work (that actually pays ;) )
friendships
traveling
running away
cooking

i think that's about it...i'll only go into detail with one...i'm clueless as to why i think some of those things to be honest...

college: i'm starting to fill out applications for them...& i'm not sure if i really want to go to CHC...or college at all for that matter...i just don't know & i'm scared of it again...

i'm just not ready for anything right now...i'm stressed with that stupid moving show for band...& getting into an argument with joey...which i sometimes feel like i have to bring up something with him so he can understand me...but i'm not gonna try with that...sometimes i think that things are going bad with us...& if it starts to i don't know what to do...i'm clueless as to what i could do to fix things...sometimes i don't even know there is a problem...& it's usually me...*sigh*...i'm so lost right now...it's not even really close to funny...

sometimes i think bout if i'm not with joey...i think i'd be by myself...& it's not so much of a matter that no one would ever love me again...but i think i'd just be too emotionally drained & hurt...i hope this one works...& for good...somehow i keep thinking it's breaking apart...little by little...

& i don't know what to do anymore...with anything at all...

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