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viking-punk (profile) wrote,
on 9-28-2003 at 7:50am
Current mood: scared
Music: thinking of mana's mariposa traicionera...
Subject: since the computer was down yesterday this is what i wrote down that happened from friday:
September 27, 2003

another day in hell

my day yesterday was a very..."iffy" kinda day...i thought things were gonna go well for me...i'm always wrong bout those kinda things...

i had to be at the band room @ 7 so i barely got there on time...rosa gave me a ride...i miss spending time with her...& she's going out of town this weekend...so i get to miss out yet again...whatever...well band sucked cuz we were out there for 2 hours w/out a break...it's been like that all week...wait ok one day we got a 5 minute break...WOW...*ugh*...so yeah we worked our asses off for our "moving show"...which i don't understand why we're doing, but whatever, what's done is done...

i'm gonna fail garewal's class...ok not really, but i'll pass probably w/ like a D or something...i don't pay attention much in there...oh well...plus i kinda lost my book...that's bad huh?...

i ran from passing period to 3rd to get keys for joey's car to get my books for that period that i'd forgotten bout...dude, joey's car is cool, but ghetto...I COULDN'T GET THAT DAMN THING TO OPEN...so i went to class w/out my book...& homework...*eek*...so i tried to copy words from our homework as quickly as i could so i could turn it in on time...& while i was doing that i had to take an oral test on bones in the body...which i'm surprised i did really well on...then mr. hardin says "oh class the papers that were due today, i don't feel like grading, so turn them in on monday"...*OI*...

math analysis i took a test...& i think i wrote a few of the answers wrong cuz i wasn't paying full attention to it, so whatever, my bad...nothing really exciting happens in that class...i talk to aubrey, joy, luke, denisse, jpo, fabian, & jorge...nothing really exciting like i said...

lunch was lunch...we went to taco shop...& we've been going there a lot lately...it's kinda hard to go to big john's when they are repairing all the damages that joey diez caused...LMFAO...well i told joey (we're talking bout my bf this time) to get me cheese fries...so we're waiting & waiting...then stupid joey yells out..."WHERE'S MY CHEESE FRIES?!"...& it was so fucking quiet when he did it...omg it was so fucking funny you had to be there...i'll admit i was so embarassed...but i got over it...

mac's class we took a test...*yay* another class i'm going to get a D in...i fell asleep after the test...so it was cool...

spanish 3 i wish i wasn't in now...i don't speak spanish well enough & we're graded on our i guess you would call public speaking...& we're having to talk bout political things & shit like that that should mean something to me...i just don't understand that class...but i left early cuz we had a pep ralley to get ready for...tony was crying bout how he was sorry & i had no clue wtf he was talking bout...

tony told me that he was sorry for like not being there for me i guess...to be honest i really didn't understand him & what he was talking bout...& i only cared a bit...so i comforted him saying that things were ok & shit...

i guess denisse now knows bout someone liking her...& she was a bit upset with me cuz i didn't tell her sooner...i'm sorry...but know after what happened with the rest of the day i know i do NOT want that guy to try & get w/ her...sorry dude, you fucked up big time...ain't no sorry that's gonna change that...

we had our pep ralley...big whoop...

i went with joey to his house to have pizza...lina brought along ben...que cute, eh?!...we had fun...I LOVE YOU SO MUCH WITH ALL MY HEART JOEY!!!...

we got to the band room "late", but no one really showed up til bout 6 so whatever...got dressed & got other freshman helped out w/ their uniform...& i'm not really one of the ppl who are supposed to cuz it was the section leader's jobs to help everyone else out & make sure that everyone had all their things...danny was in his car w/ the shade up...& i was mad cuz earlier i had asked him to help me out with something...& i asked him if he was alright & he didn't say anything...& he was supposed to be there to play the role of "section leader"...so when i went outside to say hi to joey again from after he dropped me off, lina started saying that "oh we have to feel sorry for danny...wwaaaa" & shit like that...so i went inside to unhappily make those posters...i didn't even know what to write on them cuz i'd forgotten...so i had tony go & ask mr macon what i was supposed to write...& lina came up to me asking me if i wanted her to say something to mr macon, so she did...& mr macon seemed kinda pist but at the same time worried...so i start up on the posters & tony comes up to me complaining bout how lina is being a bitch...i'm sorry she isn't the bitch here...(i'll explain more in the story)...she had something to say & danny being in the car is not being a section leader...so thanx lina for saying something...i really didn't care for what tony had to say after this...i told danny bout how i was mad at him for the whole "you're not being a section leader"...& he cried...& to be honest i think it also had something to do with the fact that i brought up the past...like when we broke up this last time...& i'll admit bringing that up is totally my fault, but i just don't remember why i did it...& i'm sorry that i blew up like that...but then danny started to cry...& i've never really seen him so sad & angry like that...& it hurt me cuz i couldn't do anything bout it...i just remember him saying "you hurt me"...& i feel bad cuz i know exactly what he's talking bout...& yes it is my fault...& i know that there is more to it than just saying sorry...that was completely my fault in every aspect of it...then he started saying that tony lied to him bout things...so naturally i want to kick his ass...cuz if you hurt my friends, i'll hunt you down like the dogs that you all are...so i go over to talk to lina first bout what was going on & for her to help me out w/ my hair...then i talked to tony asking him wtf he said...& he said he didn't say much & i told him what was going on...& i should've known that the night was gonna get worse & i was gonna be pist & hurt...well we practiced & got outside, ready to perform our first pregame show for this year...my first pregame as a senior...*sigh*...

our pregame was average...first time doing it...i think we messed up on the star spangled banner, but whatever...marched off...got into the stands...& boy was cheering fun lastnight...i was really stessed out bout how danny was...& i tried to say like hey what's up...but he just looked at me then looked away, so i said forget it...i hung out w/ freshman mostly...i think i am a ppl person & i just don't realize it very well...lol...

we went down for half time & danny gave us a pep talk...got in our positions...i talked to sandra jabalera...& i felt bad cuz the ppl i used to talk to all the time i hardly ever do anymore...she asked me bout why i wasn't w/ danny & stuff like that...we talked bout it & she was saying how joey was a cool guy...*yay*...so yeah...& then after the team was done we got on the field...our first half time show...(as a senior)...& i knew it was gonna suck...lol...

we get out there & i'm pumped up...we start to play a few measures into it...then we have to move...then POW!!!...one of the flags hit my trumpet & hit me in the face...i had already messed up on the introduction to the song & that little scene just made me feel so embarassed that i just quit playing the intro...the rest of the show was fine...fantastic if you will...(stupid luke)...lol...we lined up & got off the field...then we went on our break...i went up to the stands to drop off my stuff & bring joey w/ me...lol it was funny cuz we both had to pee so bad...so yeah...

afterwards we got something to drink & him to eat...we're hanging out...& tony comes up to me saying he has to talk to me right right now...so ok...he starts crying telling me that he's sorry for what he'd said to danny...WAIT WAIT WAIT...now if you go back up to the story didn't he say he didn't really say anything to him???...so i guess the whole story was that tony was telling him that i still had feelings for him & shit...now what tony might've meant was that i care for him as a friend...& how danny took it was that i want to get back with him badly...now everyone may have the story wrong so frankly i don't give a fuck...i was just really mad at tony...& i think i always will be...cuz he is like that...he says one thing for you to believe is true...then the next minute he says he's sorry cuz he lied...WTF DAMNIT? JUST SAY THE FUCKING TRUTH MAN!!!...

then i drowned...lmfao...stupid danny (aubrey's bf)...that was funny...

i had to go back to the stands for the rest of the game...that was cool...we did "hey cheerleaders"..."hey guillermo"...lmfao that was genius dude, genius...the "where you from?"...& the viking spell out...lol i kinda forgot how to spell on that one...heeheehee...& i was a cheerleader...omg...lol...so yeah it was fun...up until we didn't realize that we lost...HA HA WE SUCK...but that's ok cuz we all had fun with it...

we got back to the band room & put away things & got ready to leave...joey lina ben denisse & i went to hamburger stand...it was cool...i was just really tired, stressed out, & sleepy so yeah...i fell asleep on the way home...i woke up when we dropped off denisse & said goodbye...joey dropped me off...walked me to my door...THAT'S MY JOEY!!!...hugged kissed & said our goodbyes...i got inside & fell on my bed & tried going straight to sleep...i fell asleep for a while...until i heard sirens...& i was afraid it was someone i knew...i was really afraid of danny hurting himself cuz in the band room he kept saying how he was gonna kill himself...& i wouldn't live right w/out my best friend in this world...so i stayed up a bit after i heard that...then fell asleep...

i was afraid of calling him this morning...fear of him not talking to me...fear of him yelling at me...fear of him not answering...fear of him not being there at all...

i'm supposed to make this never-done-before recipe from mark...a bit of an experiment i should say...kinda like a casserole...but i'm gonna try it out...i think my "guinnea pigs" for today are denisse, joey, lina, ben, tristan, my nana, & my dad...my mom refuses to eat anything i make now since what happened last time...i'd rather not talk bout that one... :( ...

i better get going...but i really do hope that you are ok danny...& sorry tony but sometimes i never know when to believe you...i think now i will hold on a bit more true to the saying trust no one...i'll only trust those that i know are worthy of trusting...
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