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|CrazyBlondeOne (profile) wrote, |
on 12-27-2003 at 5:19pm
|Current mood: half extremely happy and half extremely depressed
Music: i have a mest song stuck in my head
Subject: just stuff...
|hiya!!! you know wut i dont get...is why people are so shallow and they take things for their face value. (im not talking about anyone specific...i was just sitting here thinking to my self and i thought of that all of a sudden.) for instance im in love with Good Charlotte but my friend Emilee hates them only because of the way they look. yeah i know they have a lot of piercings and tattoos and stuff but their arent as bad as some other bands i have seen. anyways i just thougt i would bring that up. im so sick of pretending...its really hard and i dont like it. i mean for the past week or so i have been happier than i have for a really long time. i mean the whole christmas thing has really cheered me up and this break form school has really helped with my mood. im still really snappy and stuff but only sometimes. ppl think im happy and stuff but what they dont know is that deep down im not. im actually really depressed. but ppl dont see that...they can ask wuts wrong and i will lie and say nothing when there really is something wrong, and all they do is say "okay then" and then they go on and on about pointless stuff. but some ppl acutally know wut im going through...im not gonna say any names but they should know who they are...they actually feel the pain i do. they know how hard it is to talk to someone about it. so instead of talk about it...i sit in my room all alone listening to music. if it werent for my music and the few friend i have that dont lie to me i wouldnt be here. and im dead serious about that. i mean im really happy about my cd and about christmas but when i was sitting in the car while my mom was in the commisary a really sad song cam on. it on my new gc cd. when i heard that i felt like crying...it broke my heart when i heard that song. i mean i heard it before but this is the time i actutally heard it without talking and stuff and it really got to me. im trying to figure out wuts up with my mom. she has been really grouchy lately. i mean she will go from being nice and stuff to being really mean and yelling at everyone. its pissing me off. plus i have been trying hard to push my feeling out of the way and worry and help my friends with thier problems. anyways i know some of you would rather not listen to me go on and on about all the shit so im gonna go. ttyl.