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|kailster (profile) wrote, |
on 1-17-2004 at 11:12am
|Current mood: drained
Music: wait for me - rebecca st james; i will remember you - sarah mclachlan
|well today is andrew's funeral, and i think it's going to be a hard one to get through.
i'm going by myself, which is kinda hard to believe, but i'm going for chris, and to show my respects for andy and his family, even though i didn't know them very well...i know that he was a great guy and will be missed, and if he's looking down from heaven, i hope he knows i'm there and i will never forget him.
i couldn't sleep last night, at all.
my dreams keep getting worse...and i get more scared to wake up everytime...
i have to stay strong today, because chris is going to come over later, he's going to be in bad shape, and i have to be there for him. and i'm going to be, even if the only i can do is hold him in my arms...i'll do it until he tells me to let go...
i continue to pray everyday...for everyone's safety...and happiness after this tragedy that's hit us all...it's going to be a hard year to get through for my friends at harper...but i'm here for them every step of the way. I am thankful for my friends that have been there for me through all of this and continue to support me...it's helped me more than you'll ever know.
i've discovered something...i knew it was there, it just hadn't appeared so clearly until now.....
i'm in love.
my horoscopes for today are so confusing...they mean something but i don't know what...
Stop thinking so hard. You've got to listen to your gut instincts on this one. Not everything is always black and white. As hard as it might be to let go, some decisions have to come from within.
i havent' done anything but think...i dunno...maybe it'll shed light on me later.
"I can only imagine..." this song is by mercyme and i'm sitting here listening to it...and i dunno what i'm thinking...what is it like in heaven? is andy up there looking over us? seeing all these people mourn for him...
i told chris i'm going before him last night...he said he couldn't stand it...but i couldnt' see him go before me...i don't want to think about that though...because he's not going anywhere and neither am i.
well i have to go to the school at 1:45 or so...i want to see chris, but i don't know if i will...i can only hope.
death is such a hard thing to grasp...but everyone knows it happens...so why is it so hard to believe? because you never expect it to be this soon...it's not supposed to be like this. so why does it have to happen?...i guess God only knows it...and i don't understand, but i really can't...unless i'm God.
so it's time to let him go, time to say goodbye to our dear friend andy...he'll be in our hearts and in our prayers for always...and he'll always be remembered as Superman, the one who saved lives and made everyone so happy to be alive.
Rest In Peace Dear Andy ~ '85-04'
he's safe in the arms of an angel.