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caffeinatedjazz (profile) wrote,
on 1-24-2004 at 11:55pm
Music: blur - best of, neutral milk hotel, then tragically son, ambulance
Subject: laughing and hugging and falling down staircases and then falling on my face in sadness
bari came over today.

for the first time.

it was fun. we both acted so drunkenfucked i coulda swore i had taken something.

then, as we're lying on top of eachother on the futon, she puts a pick in her mouth, spits it up, catches it, and swallows it.

she's at the nearest hospital.

i realized as soon as she left i shouldv told her to call me after all this is cleared up or something but i forgot.

i'm a fuckup friend.


caffienatidjazz (11:45:48 PM): new thesis
caffienatidjazz (11:46:20 PM): conor is too afraid to lose cool girls through relationships and fucking up in relationships so he treats cool girls like really good friends until they think he's gay
caffienatidjazz (11:46:45 PM): when he should be fucking SOMEONE
conor also has stopped recording music because he knows he can't write lyrics, can't sing, and is musically limited.

diana (11:49:58 PM): newer thesis:

conor is a sweet guy who is being a grump at the moment, and thinking he sucks. but we all know he doesnt.. and furthermore, we know hes adorable and happy and pink!
diana (11:50:18 PM): + he is very talented and super hot
caffienatidjazz (11:51:34 PM): god. i need to see a therapist. but that's so anti-everythingme
diana (11:51:47 PM): dont see one then. youre alrightttt
Idb1223 (11:53:11 PM): be happy
caffienatidjazz (11:53:28 PM): thats what i tell myself. cos my mom is like the kind of person who says everything thats wrong with me or that i wind up in is my own damn fault and my dad was always selectively intense and yelling and so i've been so not therapist material no matter how much i hurt or fuck up myself or anything. it's like how i hate going to a teacher for help. i should be smart enough to get through these things alone. i shouldnt need a crutch like a teacher or a therapist.
caffienatidjazz (11:53:37 PM): i want to be happy and pink
caffienatidjazz (11:53:44 PM): i was so happy like an hour or two ago
caffienatidjazz (11:53:45 PM): wtf
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