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RagDoll (profile) wrote,
on 12-11-2002 at 8:24am
Current mood: drained
Music: I grieve, UP remix; Peter Gabriel ]
Subject: Yesterday was...Odd.

It began with the weekly morning meeting. I get off at 6am, and the meeting begins at 7:30. What a waste. I've tried to assess why the meetings are late. Manager's excuse is that he lives far away, and the bus takes forever. We asked him to get a schedule. He demanded to know where he could find one. I sent him the web addresses of all the chicago transit companies. We're also going to be phased out of residence life and phased into public safety. That should be a treat.

The October 15 move he mentioned was not discussed. Odds are it won't occur.

He asked us our opinion on 16 year olds without ID. His response was traditionally lazy. All Manager does is react after the fact. There's no planning for the future. A statuatory rape charge and subsequent lawsuit is going to be a -big- issue.

I'm so very tired of this job. The students are abusive, and the management nonexistent. In order to bypass the budgetary problems, they've done the following:

1) The deadline for handing in an employee review is May 15. That way, payroll can be informed, and the salary adjusted by July 1. This is for all people working between January through march 1. I started Jan 2. My review was sent to me July 1. Sometime in the next two weeks, I might receive my review. I'm assuming the reason this was handled this way, was because no one expected employees in this department to stay past 6 months.

2) A management position was 'created' where 2 employees do Manager's job during the off shifts. No pay increase. After reading the Human Resources website, I realized this position has to be under the nose of HR. Woo-hoo.

So what do I do? Do I ask questions of HR in the hopes of action? Or do I slug through, and pray that one of my many job applications within the school bears fruit? Or do I do nothing, and wait to die?

Right now, I'm geared for option 3.

I don't want to see any of my friends. I don't want to see anyone. My life is a waste, and I can't do anything about it. Hopefully, S. will get her degree through this, and have the good sense to divorce me before I weigh her down. I just can't bear communicating with anyone. Nothing's going to change, and I'm just going to get worse. Why should anyone be near that?

Nonetheless, I'm forced into it.

R. came over yesterday out of the blue. I should have taken this as a warning. She came in, and I complained, and she broke into tears. She has a financial problem with the school that's keeping her from taking classes. She says she's wasted her life. It's an easy fix. Nonetheless, she needed friends, and I can help with that.

I was to meet D that night. It was supposed to be one on one, getting deep in conversation. I brough R along instead, and it worked out. I was still able to talk with D, my intimacy with R allowing a safe place with private conversation. R got to meet someone who knew writers and directors of X-files as well as she did. After the visit, came down to L's apartment, and gave her a hug, knowing instinctively that she had a rough day. She appreciated it, and we scheduled a meeting for next Tuesday. Next monday is R's birthday. We're going karaoke. Woot.

After we left the apartment, I talked with R, and she hugged me. It's hard being the person caring for another, especially when your own life is so messed up. Hopefully, I'll see her tomorrow before S.S. shows up.

Got home, and talked with S about her day. She's meeting with the major movers and shakers of her company, and it sounds like she made a fantastic impression. I rubbed her to sleep, and crashed on my own.

I don't know what to make of today. I don't know if R is going to still be in bad shape, and I don't know what S.S. will bring. We'll see.

I also found the secret ending to Kingdom Hearts. Wish I knew why Square would put something so wonderful into a game so mediocre. I'm not at a level of understanding, I guess.
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