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living-still (profile) wrote,
on 2-10-2004 at 12:13am
Current mood: blobby
Music: exploded into pieces
Subject: Okay....so.....
I wish Ryan was on...I just listened to a song that made me lonely. I need to hold him now. He loves me. It makes me feel so good inside that someone loves me differently than family and differently than friends....But yet, when I'm without him, it makes me feel worse because we aren't together....you know?

Well anyways, Mom says I shouldn't be putting everything about me on the internet. Otherwise someone (such as 'Dennis') could be screwing with me. I don't know how I would change what I said about anything....I don't think I can...but yeah.

Everythings so messed up right now. I have homework to do, but I just don't feel like doing it. I have to do this chili unit for English and flashcards for vocabulary. Then in my leadership class we are looking at our qualities and worth as a person. I don't have any. I look at myself and see nothing. I don't have good self-esteam or anything. I hope I get past that. I want to be as posative as Ms. Rypien. She's so full of life....I'm a worthless blob just sitting there....look at me and all my blobbyness...it's so not majestic...weeee.

I also don't feel well phsically. I feel extra tierd all of a sudden. And I always feel as though I'm going to puke when I eat. Maybe I just shouldn't eat and then I can become annorexic....yey.

I have no idea what to get Ryan for a valentine's day present. I h a t e it when people get me stuff and I don't get something for them...give me some ideas!!! He won't. It really bothers me because usually in elementary you can just give them a valentine with candy. You don't do that in high school...or I guess you just shouldn't. I would just like some help, please? Only one week left. That's it.

Love,
Lauren
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