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daydream (profile) wrote,
on 2-12-2004 at 12:03am
Current mood: frustrated
Music: another lonely day-ben harper
so lets break this down, shall we?

tommy wants nothing to do with me. yet, i'm still the one that gets angry people bitching about how horrible of a thing that was to do, and how i really need to get some morals and blah blah. not only do i get to hear people rant and rave, i didn't even get the guy.

he of course got the girl...

zach also wants nothing to do with me. that night, that horrible friday night, we were supposed to get together. i thought he was just after some lovin' seeing as that's all he's ever after. no, the guy i've had a little crush on since, oh the beginning of the school year might have actually had feelings for me. and not just the wow, she looks good kind. the actual, wow i could see myself dating her kind. i found this out about 10 minutes ago. i apologized for what went down, and he replied with a, "don't worry about it...it's over." i took this as tommy and i being over..oh no, he meant me and him. i didn't even know we were started. i asked if he would maybe wanna hang out again...i get a "i dunno." and a quick sign off. he might as well have said, "can't you see i hate you? now get away from me you stupid little girl."
things just aren't going to go my way.

valentine's day is coming up...oh joy! another glorious holiday that has been so commercialized by hallmark it's sickening. i will say i probably wouldn't be as bitter if i had that "special someone" to share this day of love with...but seeing as i don't, it's hostile bitch-mode for allie.

he went shopping for her today, to buy her a valentine's present. i hope she doesn't take him back..i hope to god she doesn't. i know she will, but there's still a part of me that hopes she has some sense. i still get death stares from across the biology lab. i'm afraid those stares are going to turn into victory smiles, he's nothing to be too proud of. she should know first hand. i unfortunately do too.

we'll just have to see what tomorrow brings i suppose. the winter dance is this weekend...on valentine's day, of course. i am going stag, lizz, of course has a date. lauren i'm sure will have her boys up there, and i will assume the wallflower position i've grown remarkably good at.

"the best years of my life" are here and now...so why can't i wait until they're over?
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