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RagDoll (profile) wrote,
on 1-4-2003 at 7:33am
So...Tired [04 Jan 2003|05:10am]
[ mood | exhausted ]
[ music | Moody stuff on my harddrive track 10 ]

I'm just finishing the first regualr shift of the new year, and I'm already beat. I have one last day with RL, and I hope to make it count. Then it's work, and Flannigan's wake. Work again, and a meeting. Then work and weekend. Bleah. I hope I can find something different soon.

S is still waiting for news on the job. I'm trying not to show how terrified I am. S is my hero. S is undefeatable. And yet S may get laid off, leaving me to earn until S finds new work.

This is where I find myself to be worthless. I'm in a nothing job that can barely provide a buffer against debt. I can't find new work, and if I lose S, there's nothing.

Time to write porn.

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Avalon, Evangelion, and thou. [01 Jan 2003|10:16pm]
[ mood | loved ]
[ music | Fly Me To The Moon ]

Thoughts outside the box:

"Because you cannot disprove my argument, I must be right."

No, it simply means that I cannot prove mine. Innocent people have been put on death row because an attorney failed an argument. It's why there is an appeals system. Also, applying an argument to an audience that isn't properly educated enough to debate is simply foolish. In order to see if the argument has merit, post it to those with the background to properly debate. I can understand the desire to be the biggest possible fish in the smallest possible pond, but it's ultimately unrewarding. Learn to grow.


This has been a lovely inadvertant vacation. My work time was savagely curtailed due to budgetary restrictions. So, I think I'll have put in all of two days of work in basically empty buildings. It's been nice. Because of this, I've spent a lot of time with S. We rediscovered each other. I'm not afraid to admit, that I fell in love again.

Life right now is difficult for S. Upheavals at work that won't even be addressed until next week, but have demanded her attention for the past two weeks. S is incredibly stressed, and has spent houes classifying and identifying roughly 7 gigs of music simply to be distracted. I understood, and gave a lot of room.

Gifts were splendid. Ipods, 10 Kenshin dvds, and lots of little things. The pocketwatch is still my largest favorite, simply because it took a lot of thought and heart from the giver to give me something that reflected my loves and dreams. I wind it every few hours.

More importantly, my favorite gift came this year: RL

RL came to visit this past week, arriving Saturday. On sunday RL came over, and I was able to introduce RL to my friends with a little film festival. DS, SS, LS, and JF all came over. S, still exhausted and not ready to deal with guests yet, went to bed. The festival was a treat. We saw:

DS' latest film. A ghost story that was an experiment in visual tricks. Watching RL bounce during some of the scary bits was fun to watch.
Love Hina: CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK. A romantic comedy that is clearly the basis for a lot of Megatokyo fun. Good blend of angst and extreme comedy.
Sera Myu: Live....action...sailor...mooon...musicals. The computer crashed out of sheer unwillingness to face the horror.

Avalon is a rare piece A polish-language film set in Warsaw, with equipment on loan from the Polish army. Directed by the japanese director of 'Ghost in the Shell', using the imagery of english heroic mythology. All for six million. It's a moody matrix.

The future sucks. You don't see a lot of it, save that it's colored a dismal green. Some people, to stave off the basic misery of existence, play a fully immersive shooter called 'avalon'. It's illegal. It's addictive, and potentially fatal. That doesn't stop people from playing, or an elite few from earning a living by playing the game.

It's not a good living.

Ash is a solo player in Avalon, a place normally dominated by teams. She's fought her way to class A, and is one of the rare few who make a living playing the game. She used to be part of the most elite team in the game, but it disbanded under mysterious circumstances. Ash's life is fairly meaningless. She does earn a living playing the game, but it's not a good one. SHe has enough to rent a flat, pay her internet bill, and feed her dog, which she loves. She would be the best in the game, but an unknown mystery man keeps knocking her off the top of the charts.

In trying to identify the mystery man, Ash uncovers a secret withing the game. There's a class above A, where the game doesn't end until you win or die. Several of the elite have tried to get into this class, and have gone 'unreturned'; lost in a vegetative state, their minds lost in the game. One of these unreturned is Ash's ex-boyfriend, and the former leader of her team.

Ash now goes on a quest within the game to find this special class, and to find her former lover. This bleeds into a heroic quest, worthy of the arthurian cycle. There are a lot of layers in the story, and countless unanswered questions that will leave you talking for days. The visuals are impressive. The weapons and equipment are all genuine, blended with visual effects that make you feel very much like you're walking through the most advanced game ever. I also cannot forget to mention the soundtrack. Haunting choral work that, thanks to the dvd, translates into something that fills my heart.

With these films, all went well. There were angsty moments, and 1 meltdown, but all in all, it went well. RL met a lot of nice people, and the films were truly fantastic.

Monday, RL came over, and we intended to go to a movie, but instead, walked everywhere, talked a lot, and had a ball. We came home to watch Evangelion. More on that. Yesterday, was a bit more wild.

First off RL and I went to see Die another Day, a bond film that's fallen into my top five list. Oh...James....*purr* Then we took our rest and got ready for clubbing.

Neo was to be the club of choice. I love...Or maybe I loved Neo. Neo is one of the last bastion of gothy clubs in Chicago. It was one of the first, and may very well be one of the last. It's a tiny club, but one of the few where we could afford to be part of the New Year scene. We headed out, and stuffed ourselves in. For part of the night, the music was great. A blend of hard and morose, with a lot of 'local color' to fill the space. Although I didn't dance much, I did enjoy watching everyone dance, and all the wonderful fashions and costumes. I got to stare into the eyes of my beloveds and let them know how much I loved them before midnight. It was lovely.

Alas, the music shifted to much harder, slamming stuff, the smoke increased, and none of us could stand it for long. We all went our separate ways, and I yearned for the days when I could dance to Peter murphy while dreaming of black ribbons and striped tights.

Today was a quiet New years. Unprecedented amounts of food, the tournament of roses parade (If anyone has pictures of the flag brigade for the Pasadena Marching band, let me know), and -ALL- of the TV part of Evangelion.

Good lord.

I was turned off to Evangelion when I saw the first four episodes several years ago. I'm not a fan of Giant Robots, and I have a big beef against using the imagery of a religion, without understanding the meaning of what's being used. Now that I've seen all of the TV series...


This is the single most nihilistic anime I've ever seen. It's all about teen alienation and isolation, without any solution. This is about wanting to die, and being right in that desire. It's depressing as hell, and very often quite horrific. To put it perspective, this anime was doing a lot better when I simply believed that the father figure of the series was molesting a 14 year old girl. RL left at the end of the TV series, which is considered to be the 'bad ending'. Years after Evangelion ended, they rewrote the ending and made it into 2 movies.


I'm glad RL left. RL couldn't watch 'Audition' with me, one of the most extreme horror pieces in my collection. Last two parts of Evangelion: Same category. Worse, it still left you wondering why.

If you actually want to take a knife to your wrists, and are worried about chickening out, watch this series all at once.

Fortunately, I'll let RL watch it solo. Tomorrow, instead, is chinatown. Chinatown: Crack cocaine for anime addicts, CDV addicts, and Bean Paste freaks.

Also, this vacation, I got to talk to my new friend, T, the former mystery person. What a lovely person. Nice, kind, good stories, and lots of fun. I can't wait to build this friendship.

That's all for now. I love you all. God bless.

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