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Kandy (profile) wrote,
on 3-24-2004 at 8:10pm
Current mood: shitty
Music: use me
Subject: *snickers*
I'm really about to say screw this all. i'm sinking lower and lower into life. i give all i can into it and get nothing, and i do mean nothing this time. this time i've been treated like a play toy. a bad play toy. something you don't want your friends to know you like. and this person doesn't even want something serious even tho it started out that way already. hell, i'd say sleeping together is serious. but hell does that mean anything? *shrugs* this person isn't done experimenting... so what am i now? a side dish? and appitizer? sorry if you read this, but i felt horrible eariler. i thought things were finally like in order. it was your choice to remain the way you did, i was just curious and i half explored. i'm sorry i did things you didn't like. You've done things i didn't like too. we all make mistakes. i don't believe I hold them against you. I try my damnest not to anyways. i just don't understand i guess. i know you want time at least with friends and being "open" but where the hell does that leave me? I'm not going to play you. i have to much to lose to even consider that. i'm looking for forever which may totally scare you. you shoudl tell me tho. and if that's not what you want then you definitly should tell me. because everything we've done and said and all, it points toward that. but i may be wrong. if i am just tell me. stop making me wonder. i've told you and i'll telll you again. your my one. i hate waiting but if i must... i must. just don't treat me like a play thing. i am a person. you treat me one way there and another way here. ya know? i can barely deal with that. *sighs* it's hard to explain. you've done more than me and yet your not ready. yes your younger by like 6 months. but still! I already know. your the only one who has made me feel the way i do!well i'm leaving. i'm gonna go... do something. maybe.....
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