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|justamirage (profile) wrote, |
on 4-11-2004 at 7:16pm
|Current mood: depressed
Music: dashboard confessional-rapid hope loss
|well spring break has been pretty fun so far. went to munising/grayling with claire. we learned alot of things which ill put in here later after we compile the list. but yea we had an awesome time. we met boys. troy who was really hot and had an awesome tatoo, bobby(boob) who was cute and really kewl too, and shane who we really have to thank for it cuz he introduced us all. it was kewl. boys in bikinis are funny. ask me for pics.
yea....hanging out with claire made me alot less depressed than i was on thursday. i didnt tell her at first cuz i didnt want it to ruin the trip. i knew talking about it would have just made me all depressed again. so i chose not to say anything and just to let myself have a good time. i think i have a problem with bottling up my feelings. like even when i talk about it i just kind of shrug it off like its nothing. claire says im dead inside. lol. kinda wish i were tho. it would make things alot easier. damn feelings. and then i come home and its back to depression again. grr. i couldnt help wanting to cry all day. i mostly just want to lay in the dark and stare at the wall. im tired, but i cant sleep so it really doesnt matter. plus it didnt help that i had to go to my gmas for easter and hear her tell me for and hour how im wasting my life away and what a dumbass i am. a direct quote "you used to be so smart". thanx grama. happy easter to you too you fucking nazi. goddamn. on the plus, ive written a few songs. thats probably the only good outcome out of anything i ever do. w00t. or...sarcastic w00t. whichever. i guess this is what i get for breaking the only rule i have for myself... shoud have known that was going to blow up in my face sooner or later. although, it would have been nice had it been sooner. so thanx for that...or not. im done. with everything. i dont even know anymore. im just....done
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