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crazydimbohead (profile) wrote,
on 4-18-2004 at :32pm
Current mood: sad
Music: story of the year - until the day i die
Subject: this is me and kaceys song..
i feel like kacey has been lieing alot.. hey, if you see or hear anything.. please let me know.. im not acusing him of anything.. but i have been getting stong feelings about it hear lately.. and i dont know.. i feel bad because i wrote him an email.. i was really pissed off in the email.. and i dont know.. maybe i overreacted to the situation.. okay, what happened was well we was on the phone and it was 11:40pm.. and he goes "me and sam are gonna go drop by my cousins house" okay, does that sound suspecious or am i just imagining it?.. i dont know.. he might of been telling the truth.. but still.. i have been feeling like this, and that did NOT make me feel anybetter..
kacey is my life, my friend, my companion, my love, my everything.. yes, that is very cheesy but its what i feel, and what i feel is very true..
i have been talking to jake.. and you know, i dont understand him.. he has done sooo much for me as a friend and i feel like i have done nothing.. i have turned my back on him so many times.. i have treated him sooo badly.. and he is still the same.. i guess thats what you call a true friend, right? i told him thank you for being there and everything.. cuz he is, hes always got my back, no matter what.. and i told him.. even though i may not act like it.. i care about him, and i love him as a friend.. me and him have been through so much.. and a simple little thing broke us apart.. and i also reinsured him that he is still my best friend.. cuz i knew he thought i didnt think of him like that anymore.. i have turned my back on him to many times..
this is a good song, BLINK 182 - I'M LOST WITHOUT YOU..
man i have the worst headache ever.. i have been wanting ibprophen since this morning.. but i still havent went and got it.. its sitting right over there by my door.. but im just to damn lazy.. lol..
i keep thinking about kacey.. i dont ever want to lose him, how many times have i said that? i dont know.. i just feel like he is going to leave me for someone better, MUCH better.. earlier i asked jake if he thought kacey would ever leave me for someone better and this was his response.. "u know what i was going to say something i dont think he would leave u for anything or anyone if he does u can kill me with all ur anger but i really doubt he'll leave u Heather theres no one better then u ur funny active nice all the things u can think of that i cant right now"..... i just dont want to get hurt again like i have in the past relationships i have been in.. i want him to be different.. i want to stay with him forever.. i dont want him to leave me like everyone did.. or anything to end up like it has in the past.. i love him with all my heart.. and i'd do anything for him.. and i mean anything.. i use to be unsure about that, but i now know the answer..
me and jakes convo...........
Jake:
so what r u thinkin bout?
Heather:
about kacey leaving me..
Heather:
**about kacey leaving me and finding someone better..........
Heather:
**New and better
Jake:
he wont leave u
Heather:
god, i hope not
Jake:
theres not anyone better than u
Heather:
yes.. there is...
Jake:
nope
Jake:
i dont think there is
Jake:
it be ok
Jake:
just dont think bout it
Heather:
alright.. ill try not to
Jake:
ok good
Jake:
ull be ok

anyways.. im gonna go.. its 1:15am and i want sleep.. and while im up hopefully ill remember to get the ibprophen.. lol.. byee
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