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nymphofdarkness777 (profile) wrote,
on 5-4-2004 at 8:54pm
Current mood: uncomfortable
Music: :|rage against the machine~ the ghost of tom joad|:
Subject: { I am and I will }
I'm not in a good mood. I feel so depressed, I guess nothing is working. I feel so bad too. I fucked up. I mean, how the hell did I end up like this.
I used to be an inoccent, I never got in trouble... o wait that's a lie.. I was a trouble maker but not as much as I am now. But now it has come to some kind of fork in the road: I can start over and stop getting in deep shit, or I can do just the opposite. Obviously I'm going to choose to change for the better, but thats going to be super hard.. then again what isnt hard?

Also, there are so many things that I want to do, but I'm afraid of the outcome. For example, I like this guy and he knows. But when he asked if I like him, I didnt know if I should have said the truth. he wanted the truth, but I didnt say yes.. i said 'i didnt know". I would tell him the truth but I guess I'm too scared to say anything like that to anyone. I was talking about this with a couple of my friends and they all said the same thing, "its better to do it and know, than to never do it and not know." that seems like everbody's answer for that kind of thing... its kind of true.
O, and about San Antonio. Damn, it used to be a 75% chance of me not moving... but now it like 35% chance of me not moving.
well I'm going to stop the upsetting and depressing shit. So I'm going to stop and watch HeatguyJ.

you know the drill
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