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spoiled-kisses (profile) wrote,
on 6-7-2004 at 9:49pm
Current mood: apathetic
Music: ..pUnk'dD..
Subject: . FuCk l0vE .
s0o, i'm 0ver tryiin t0 have s0me0ne t0 l0ve me. Saturdayy was t0tal crazyness. Me, eRin, chAz, nd phiL went t0 m0m0'sz h0use! Funn asz hell .. caLic0 g0t fuckedD upp lyke a m0fuck! G0t fuckedD upp 0ff my ass nd phiL decidedD t0 fuckiin leave me nd g0 t0 sleep s0o i hadda watch eRin nd chAz make0ut nd then i went t0 miKe'sz. phiL g0t pissedD but fuck it. Last niite .. edDy calledD me. Fiirst tiime in lyke a m0nth. I went 0ff 0n hiim s0o badD. Was a t0tal bytch nd i saidD s0rry t0 hiim t0dayy. But he saidD he l0vedD me nd i was lyke dun sayy it if y0u dun mean it. He was lyke fuck y0u then .. thatsz sum fuckedD upp shyt .. blah blah. Nd i was lyke i'm n0t fuckiin ar0undD .. i'm beiin seri0us. He g0t all pissedD nd hung upp lyke 8 tiimesz nd kept calliin me back. Then i t0ld hiim i wantedD t0 g0 t0 bedD nd he said ' ilu ' but i didnt sayy it back nd juss went t0 sleep. TalkedD t0 hiim a little while ag0 .. sp0sedD t0 talk t0 hiim later t0niite .. w0nt happen. Newh0, yesterdayy .. i was relle pissedD nd i wr0te in my livej0urnal f0r sum reas0n instead 0f here .. thisz is wut i wr0te ::

i fuckiin hate my lyfe. i hate h0w 0ne m0ment i'm happy nd the next i'm cryiin my eyesz 0ut. i hate h0w nuthiin ever w0rksz 0ut f0r me wen every0ne else is happy. i hate h0w it takesz s0o much f0r me t0 trust a pers0n nd then theyy let me d0wn. i hate h0w i can never fiind the riight guyy nd wen i relle lyke s0me0ne, i get let d0wn. i hate beiin a bytch nd l0siin friendsz, i hate beiin a fuckiin p0thead .. nd beiin kn0wn f0r juss that. i hate gettiin pissedD 0ver stupidD thingsz. i hate the pers0n i am, insiide nd 0ut. i hate everythiing ab0ut myself nd i miss the daysz wen the w0rst thiing that c0uld happen t0 y0u was y0u fall nd get a cut. i hate feeliin s0o hurt 0n the inside. i hate this s0o much. i juss wish i c0uld have a n0rmal lyfe f0r 0nce nd stayy happy f0r m0re than juss a day. i cant stand this nem0re. i juss wanna leave this place nd never c0me back .. start a new lyfe sumwhere, where n0 0ne kn0wsz my past nd i can start all 0ver again nd leave everythiing behindD. N0thing is here f0r me nuthiin at all. I dun even kn0 why i'm writin this in here cuz it startedD as sum stupidD j0urnal nd i'm actually writiin h0w i feel. Lyfe fuckiin sux nd i dun wana live it n0 m0re. I'm g0iin t0 bedD.

Newayysz, t0dayy has fuckiin suckedD. g0t sum shiitty gradesz in my classesz nd then sum0ne fuckiin st0le my wiper bladesz. there'sz 0nly 0ne thiing that will make me feel better .. but i w0nt sayy it. Later babesz. (( oNe ))

<33 shaWna
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