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behindmysmile (profile) wrote,
on 6-29-2004 at 11:14am
Current mood: embarrassed
I wanna be loved by you..
Okay heres mah rant for the week. Okay meh and James are going back out, as you all know. But we've always had *friendship* and we've never really been able to get a relationship going. I mean everyone knows that we love eachother and everyone *Thinks* that we'll get married sumday, but we can never keep a relationship, mayb its becuz im afraid of *saving myself for jus one guy* maybe its becuz im afraid of commiting to one guy, i dont know maybe its jus im scared of what im feeling [seeings how its usually mah fault we always break up cuhz i break up wif him] but everytime we go back out its jus like a friendship still. And ya know what, thats NOT WAHT I WANT!! I want a boyfriend that isnt afraid to reach over n kiss meh when we are lyin downstairs all alone. Or even if were together at the movies i want a boyfriend that will at the very least hold mah hand. I want a boyfriend that i can kiss whenever i feel like it and not have to worry *..what if ur mom finds out* what the hell do you really think i care if mah mother finds out that i made out wif mah boyfriend that she adores mroe than anyone in the whole world?!

And another thing, James wont even like kiss meh well he'll kiss meh but wont make out wif meh, and every other guy ive been involved wif lately, jus wants to finger meh or *lick meh we'll say lol* or something like that, and ya nkow wat i want..i want one guy to jus kiss meh, and kiss mah neck, and jus lets have sum fuckin foreplay before we jump straight in. And hey im not complaining..but i jus want sumone to look at meh as sum1 they love and not sum1 they can use when thier horny..ya know?

Okay..there im done. I jus kind of needed to write that somewhere..dont mind meh neways bye.
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