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justanotherface (profile) wrote,
on 7-13-2004 at 3:15am
As she sits there alone thinking in the back of her mind
She can't help but wonder
The thoughts of happiness just out of reach
Just so far
Everything looks right
It all looks great
But looks are just the eyes
The deceiving eyes of what they think
So she sits there
She's always alone
The worlds so cold she thinks
Its just not fit
I wish I could be happy she thinks
I wish things were great
I want to see what they see
I want the ignorance of eyes
There is nothing here
There is nothing left
Why do I have to cry out like this?
Why do I have to bleed so many tears?
Why can't I just reach out and take that happiness
Where has my life gone?
Why has it excaped?
And why am I still here?
So she sits alone in her room
Crying aloud for no one to hear
Because no one listens
For eyes deceive
And ears don't comprehend
So the blood drips
A tear of silky red
And she is left with the scars to remind her
That no one was there to listen

*I don't know who wrote that but it was saved on my computer*

Isn't it weird when you want people to listen and they are there, you don't want to talk. You just wanna be alone but then you wanna scream and you want people to listen and you wanna talk and you wanna let it all out. But then they have to go and be stupid like myself...its like this right now that I wish that I had the fuckin balls to not fuckin tell any one and just go have ended when I could have ya know...I wasn't attached to anyone then like I am now. But I couldn't and what does that leave me with...this and nothing has really changed I mean look....okay...yeah I have Allen...yeah I have my friends. And the only thing that is great right now is Allen. And that I keep seem to be messing up ya know. This is just all messed. Does anyone understand what its like to wanna go and cry and just cut yourself to pieces. Just to see yourself bleed just to make yourself feel better. I know that, thats bad and that I won't do I made to many promises. But that doesn't mean that I don't want to. I know that in my head, I know that it would make me feel so much better ya know...but then I also know that its wrong...I just wish that this would stop. I want my thoughts or at least what I'm thinking right now to go away. I'm sorry I'm horrible. I hate actting like a fuckin emo kid.
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