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melikepeas (profile) wrote,
on 8-15-2004 at 12:10am
Current mood: lonely
Music: too late for all that
Subject: Im not angry any more
Well im sat here because I cant sleep because im thinking too much and in turn just start crying.
Its like he doesnt even want me around anymore, like he doesnt even care if were together or not.
When I got back off holiday all I thought about was seeing damian and i was so happy and everything was amazing for a couple of days after but lately its been horrible.
I think hes got bored of me.
He says its because I went on holiday and he got used to just being with his friends but thats no reson to be mean and snappy and well just cold towards me.
When he asks me to phone him he answers and its like its just another thing he has to get out of the way so he can get on with his day (or playing computer games).
Its like I have to fit around his scedule no matter what, like I have to either see him when he feels like it or not at all.
Just like im another annoyance.
He doesnt even say I love you any more. (well thats a lie actualy he does but from when i saw him that day i was out in the town with stace hes not said it, he normaly says it every time we talk.) Whats worse is i dont think he even notices.
I thought we were happy. I was anyway.
He thinks I dont know him and I dont pay attention but I do, i only asked what he wanted to eat becase i wanted to make him the right thing so he wouldt be to full or still hungry or whatever. I listen to everything he tells me (well appart from details of nights out and what he did when he was drunk because i dont like to hear that). I know what his type of film it i know what books he likes to read i know what his favorite bands are i know his veiws on all sorts of stuff i know what he wants for the future and where he wants to end up. I know all of that stuff and more. Im trying to be a good girlfriend but i dont know what im doing wrong. I wish i knew what to do to make everything alright again. Ive fucked it up again.
Urgh im gonna have to go have a drink and a wash i have mascara covering my cheeks now. Im gona look fucking ugly in the morning. Fucking hate crying.
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