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|r0ckmywurld (profile) wrote, |
on 8-24-2004 at 8:45am
|Current mood: anxious
Music: doesnt matter
Subject: WHAT THE FUCK?
|its amazing how quickly things can change. how all of a sudden you want to run back and just have it all be the same again. ITS THE FUCKING COMFORT that i NEED. i've always said that stagnancy is not my thing. i never thought change would freak me out so bad. i've had all summer to get used to this but just always said "i dont care" .. well suprise the tough girl lied to herself. she cares. i cant believe that group of people got me feeling sentemental. but they were a constant that will no longer be. i dont even have a fucking constant house to come back to. im becoming scared. this is me throwing myself out there. IM SCARED! im having anxiety attacks. and feel like im going to cry. but it will all be good. right? its all for the best. right? i've walked away from so many things before this will be nothing. right? WHAT THE FUCK AM I GOING TO DO without ian and luke? i feel shakie. im so happy i went last night. breathe in out in out in out. in through the nose out the mouth. and ive got it. im calmed down. and everything is OK. now put on the smile. dont worry the world is believing your every line now.
sometimes i wish i had my "other half" to help me through this.
"its the lack of comfort I cant stand"
*did i lie about my enemy?*