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kailster (profile) wrote,
on 8-28-2004 at 8:20pm
Current mood: tired...sad...
Music: mix from kane
well this is it folks...i'm in college. the past few days have been up and down like a mad rollercoster...but whats new...

well move in day went alright and the few days after that were just kinda crawlin by...trying to get used to everything. last night i had a blast...till i got back to the dorm...

his email was so sincere but it hurt so much, and cut so deep i still don't know what to do or even what to say to him...i know he loves me...and i love him more than anything...anything, and that's what hurts so much. not the fact he broke it off but that i love him so much that this is killing me...even though we are just "taking a break". i got like 3 hours of sleep and i cried so much that i just fell asleep...looks like it'll happen again tonight. i try so hard not to think about it...i need to focus on school and be happy...but it's so hard to even just believe any of it...

he said that it'll make us stronger and he doesn't want to worry and that's why he's saying we need to take a break...i just hope he's happy...with whatever he does. I just know i'm not happy without him...and i've never felt so empty in my life until now. i've lost my home, my friends are far away, my mom isn't just upstairs, and my best friend and the love of my life is gone...if this is what college is supposed to be like...well i hate it.

but ya know...i'm doin alright...i mean i got tons of tears i've been holding doubt about that but i can get through this...i'm hoping...

i don't know what else to say...except that i love chris. I always will...and it sucks that when two people are in love they can't be together...whoever would've thought love is like this....

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