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r0ckmywurld (profile) wrote,
on 9-8-2004 at 1:26am
Current mood: uncomfortable
Music: i need you like a bad habit.
Subject: i miss too much. fuck these changes.
im nobodies crutch. i cant even be my own. i promise to snap if you lean on me once. i just cant take another mear gram nevermind the pounds you are bound to try and place on me. dont worry i will get through. i always do. its me we are talking about. but dont be fooled im not strong enough for the both of us now. i was before. or at least i thought. not now though. cant you see thats why i let her go? cant you see i will never be what you want me to be? no you cant. nobody can. its ok though. ill be your crutch. dont fret im always here to lean on. your tears can roll down my clavicle. because the smoke has dried my eyes. im ok now. right? im ok until you lean. your name came up on the caller ID and i was the crutch you needed. im sorry i was distracted. but you are the biggest distraction of all. the mask was torn off and she saw it in my eyes the second i opened the phone. you break me. you break the rock that is so solid to every other tide.

ugh. why is he the one person who can really do this to me? why has he been able to do it to me for so long? im so fucking sick of this. but im so sick of not seeing him too. i miss him. i miss being around him. i miss the summer before 10th grade. how sad is that? how fucking pathetic am i that i still take his shit after all these years? the fucking looser who would pick up his mess if it was her own face from his fucking shoe. but i would. and whether just as a friend. i dont think i will ever stop loving you...

p.s. im lonely. i havent really made friends like to hang out with at school. ugh. i really miss everyone. i just wish i was back with everyone or meeting new people. i just feel deserted right now. i want my fucking best friend. i need a crutch right now.

*stagnancy is my only enemy*
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