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eragedbluerat (profile) wrote,
on 9-15-2004 at 9:56pm
Current mood: i lost part of me and will never get it back
Music: Way Away - Yellowcard
Subject: feels to be alone - and not believe
O God you have pushed me really far on this one. If you were here in my room right now, id so kick your ass. immortal deity or not. id make sure you felt the pain that i am.

about 3 weeks ago, on the day my sister was planning to leavce for college again, tab died. For those of you that dont know, Tab was my sister's bunny. He was 7. a decent run for a rabbit, but we were told a week before he was in perfect health. PERFECT FUCKING HEALTH. but then he dies. Do you know how traumatizing it is to wantch a rabbit flopp around like a fish out of water. All it wanted to do was stand. But his back was broke. my dad takes her to college since she was not stable to drive on her own. then we go down to see her a week later. we get a call when we get back that my aunt has to put down snickers. A dog. See the thing about this dog is that it has been in my family since before i can remember. i know it has had a good run. but to see it go like that. its not easy. and then the big one hits. My baby. the one constant joy in my life. my little bunny Bob dies. I wake up one morning to my mom's screams of sadness at seeing bob laying dead in his cage. at first i didnt think he was dead. his eyes were open. so i open his cage and try petting him. he was coold. and thats when i knew he was really gone. he was ice cold. It felt like my heart was ripped out and it was just laying there much like bob was. Dead and motionless. 3 deaths. 333333333333333333333333333. Was this all part of your master plan? well you know what god. Fuck you and your damn plan. go ahead. smite me. damn me to hell. I DONT CARE.
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