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mizu87 (profile) wrote,
on 10-21-2004 at 9:53pm
Current mood: fine
Brook had me in tears this morning.. an e-mail he wrote me.. it's my fault... :

I mean i don't want this anymore of this aight i'm tried of you lisiting to other people say-ing shit i didn't do. And another thing i'm sorry but i'm going have to except what you said to me at tha window at Gas-Mart. I still do really Love You but if you don't like tha things i do and tha people i hang out with's gotta stop. To let you know and you might throw some stupid shit at me even though i don't think it's shit but you throw things at me that was said from some-body else instead of your own boy-friend welll....................................i don't know but shit SORRY for treanting you that way but whut i have is whut i have and nothing will change that aight !

LOve always,
p.s.f.s. always and forever there will be something bout you

..... I was in tears.. repeating to myself 'no, no, no, no' I just couldn't believe it.
When I was on, someone IMed me.. an unfamiler name.. bethany also IMed me so I thought it was Brook.. but it was Justin... ... he asked what was wrong, and he said to let me be called by him.. so Justin called and we talked... he said that.. I nee to give him another chance and we talked for quite awhile.. and I wrote an "I'm sorry" email... ..

Was called into work.. Amanda never showed so she bout to get her ass fired.. that and I called Javi and .. he said he'd come see me today.. at work since he was gonna go to that football game.. he never showed.. so yeah.. I wonder how the fight went.. I'm bout to go to Lenkas...

.. Brook.. this is what I wrote to him:

Brook... I'm sorry. There's something about you I don't want to let go of... I love you and I'm sorry for pushing you.. I'm always pushing you, I'm sorry. I've been wrong for pushing you so much.. I see now that you have ... your own life and I have my own life.. and. it's hard to find time for each other.. I'm sorry for expecting so much of you when you are so busy... I never really took the time to put myself in your shoes fully.. I jumped on what other people said too much only because when I told you about it, you didn't try to prove them wrong.. and I'm sorry .. You don't have time to prove every little thing I hear wrong.. I should just believe you and from now on.. I will believe you.. I believe in you Brook I really do... I'm sorry for questioning it. I was jealous.. of your work, your family and friends.. I just wanted more time with you for myself.. I'm sorry. I was selfish babe.. I'm sorry. My head's been all screwed up and I got used to you being there.. and when you weren't, I freaked out.. sorry. I'm not really sure what all to say.. I know I love you.. that I miss you .. and others can't understand our relationship.. I bearly understannd our relationship.. I'm sorry for 'calling you out' all the time.. like I said, I've been selfish.. You mean alot to me Brook, I wanted you all to myself but you have your own life.. I'm sorry for feeling and treating you that way... I made it hard on you I'm sure.. I just wanted to make things easier and I didn't do a good job of that.. sorr.y. I just want to be with you! I'm sorry, I want to be here for you and I haven't been doing that good either.. please.. I want to be here for you.. I know it's hard, it's hard for me.. You're the only one that makes me feel so damn crazy.. I want it just to be you Brook.. ... I miss you... ..... .. . .. ...I'm sorry... I love you.... .... .. always.

Love and Always yours,
~ Baby-girl

... .. ::sigh::
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