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waiting4rain (profile) wrote,
on 10-23-2004 at 10:49pm
Music: Rainchild (Song #2)
Subject: You are Good...

The Lord is so good....
even in my self-pitying times when
I can't get myself to just sit and spend time with Him, or when my heart is not at rest
simply because I am not allowing myself to be satisfied in Him,
He still remains faithful, and His grace abounds.

These past two days, I was unbelievably grouchy, and intolerable and sad, and...
I TRIED offering each thing to the Lord and etc etc.
yes, I prayed,
yes, I was trying not to be so pouty and
grumpy and mean to those closest to me - but I just remained in a pit these past two days..
My heart was still so... sad.

>Must He send me some sort of "sign" in
order for me to be at peace? To shut my complaining up?

Forgive me, Lord

Perhaps one day I will get to the place where no matter what my circumstances and
no matter how alone I am in the world, I will still be at peace and live for Him.
Perhaps I will be able to be lonely
but still not blame others for my loneliness...
and instead of wishing for a friend, I would be satisfied with Him.

But I'm not there yet, and in the mean time I am blown away by His grace (I always will be)...
I don't understand why,
that He still sends me amazing friends when I least deserve them, (Rose, Becky, Brisa, Kelly, Renee, etc etc [I list them bc I talked to them today]) a family that tolerates me,
a scrap of rainbow in the sky,
....and air to breathe.

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