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|FreakishIYK (profile) wrote, |
on 11-5-2004 at 11:41pm
|Current mood: lonely
Subject: Again...been a while
|I never get a chance to come online and update anymore, so I thought 'what the hell? I'll update now while I have a chance'
Well, last few months haven't been so good. I got the flu really bad (I think I caught it from Mike, and now we keep passing it back and forth to eachother) but for about a month and a half I haven't been able to keep any food down. I currently weigh 125 pounds, last year around this time I weighed 150, yea not good. Lately I've been really weak and I look frail, I'm just loosing weight too rapidly. But luckily last night I was actually able to keep food down and felt a lot better, and today I feel good too. But Mike's still not feeling good, I hope he gets better soon. I wish there was something I could do to help but I haven't really seen much of him that last couple of days.
Another important note. My dad is going to get a gastric bypass (stomach stapled) in about January. I hope he'll be ok. He's been having trouble sleeping and it turns out he has sleep apnea and he was tested and they found out his breathing stopped 86 times in an hour. Not good either. So now he sleep with this little breathing machine and he's feeling a little better. But the doctor told him if he doesn't change his eating habits or get the surgery he'll only have 5 years to live. God, I hope he'll be ok. He had to leave once for 5 months...if he leaves again and doesn't come back I don't know what I'll do. I only have so many people left in my life I truly care about...I don't need to loose more.
Ok...what else? this is too depressing. I wanted to jump Mike's ex so badly today. I was hoping she'd saying something. See, I'm not a violent person, but if you push me, I will push back. I don't know if I've mentioned it or not in this journal but she still loves him and talks about him in 3rd hour only loud enough for me to hear. Only when she mentions him though, other than that I can never hear her. She's already made it clear to Mike she doesn't like me (little Jess has too, another one of Mike's friend I hate, but I'll explain later) I may be sick, but I'll still hit the bitch. Ya know I can't explain how much I hate those two...I wish I could explain it better, but I never was good with words. Ya know, one day I mentioned to Mike that I wish he'd just tell them about us (no, I'm not still bothered by it, or trying to make you look bad, I'm just typing my thoughts, please don't get mad) and he said he'd rather stop talking to both of them than tell them, because it would start shit all over again, and I agreed which is why they still don't know...but he still talks to little Jess not his ex so much, but he still talks to the other one. I never mentioned it because I told him he wouldn't do it. Maybe he forgot? I don't want to tell him 'No you can't talk to her anymore', I just don't do that, but it was his idea. And if he still talks to her, can't I talk to Billy again? (I doubt Billy would want to talk to me though) I know I'm rambling but I just can't explain how much those two bother me. I wish he knew how I felt about it all, without me having to explain it all...it would be so much easier. So...bottom line. I hate them both, I don't want to see them, I don't want to hear about them, and I don't want to know they exist anymore. I'm tired of it, and I'm tired of them.
So yea, other than that...you're pretty much up to speed now. So until next time kitties, bye.