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hiphulagirl (profile) wrote,
on 11-13-2004 at 12:25am
I have to write this somewhere. I don't want to be whiny on my own page. I've been feeling really crappy, and Ive really had no reason to do so as things seem to be going rather swimmingly. But i've finally figured it out. As the time nears for everyone that i've grown up with to graduate from college, I realize that I really wish I was still in school too. I wish I hadn't got screwed, and now when I really want to do something about it, I wish i wasnt stuck in a place where events keep me from enrolling in classes. I think my fear is that everyone else will go have wonderful lives and everything that i'm doing right now won't mean anything to anyone but myself. I had a really great career field too, I was building things, analyzing, drawing, moving, learning. I was using just about every creative itch i ever had. I really just want to bang my head on the wall and make the crap feelings go away. I want someone else to believe in me instead of telling me how I haven't done anything, and how i'll never do anything. What the fuck ever happened to encouragement?
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