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mystery (profile) wrote,
on 1-29-2003 at 9:01pm
Current mood: despairing
Music: laura nyro
Subject: inadequacy
i can't write anymore.

i don't know how to live if i can't write, i don't know what to do, someone please tell me how i can live without words.

if anyone comments on this using the phrase "writer's block" i will punch them.

it's not writer's block. that's when you just can't think of anything to write about. i can think of plenty of things to write about but i can't write any of them. i haven't written anything that's both decently worded and my own since i don't know how long, last summer at least. i've written research papers. those i can still do. but nothing real. nothing i'd be proud to say is mine. where did i go?

i'm not sure whether i've lost my ability to write or if maybe it just was never as good as i thought, as everyone told me. i want my small pond back. i feel like a failure. where did i go?

i need to get away for awhile. i can't stand these voices echoing through the walls, and never being warm. i want a warm couch corner to curl into, facing a fire, in a room with lots of soft voices speaking quietly that i can just listen to without being noticed.
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