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glitterkisses (profile) wrote,
on 11-25-2004 at 10:09pm
Did I honestly think that everything would be okay again? You are such a selfish, greedy, miserable bitch that you can't take two seconds to love your own daughter on the day you should be THANKFUL to have me.
Do you know how you make me feel?? I bet if you did you would hate yourself. I have never told anyone the depth of all the pain and emotion there is to it, because I can't even express it in words. You make me hate my life, myself, the second i feel okay with the world, you kick me on my ass. You cause me anger, hurt, tears and you don't even understand what it's doing to me. You don't care, because it isn't you. You don't care because all your emotions are exactlly the opposite of mine. You JUST DONT CARE AND I HATE YOU FOR IT I HATE YOU!!!! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!!! You make feel like I am nothing, and not jus to you and our stupid "family" but to the world, to my friends, to anyone and everyone. You make me just want to fucking shoot myself in the head. I am happy, and the second i talk to you that feel of happiness disapears. I can't handle this. I love you so much, and I hate you at the same time. Why I love you..I don't know. You don't deserve my love. But for some reason I still care about you. I'm getting to the point though where I just don't care though. The way ytou make me feel, no one should EVER feel. I hope one day this comes back to kick you in the ass, because you will never understand. Ever. You will never understand how much you hurt me every day. Things will never be the same. Ever. I wish for one day you could eveN TRY to handle me feelings, handle how I feel because of you! You make me feel like no one will ever love me, ever that I will NEVER be good enough, that all I am is a fucking pain in the ass, and a terriable person. Ugh I hate you I hate you! That's not who I am. I hate you!

Happy fucking thanksgiving mom.
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