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mizu87 (profile) wrote,
on 12-15-2004 at 11:10pm
Current mood: fine/bit tired
Javier and I have become more comfortable..

like.. 3 days ago we was in my room and I can kiss him and he'll mimick me.. I suck on his tongue and he started to do the same for mine... I like it.. like training lol... I'll touch him and he'll touch me. I'll stop then he will so I like maybe rub his shoulder again and he'll rub my back.. it's kinda.. bad but also good... it's fustrating I can sure as hell tell ya that. But... I was laying on my bed and he finally began to slowly get ontop of me... I encuraged him by rubbing his back and gently pushing on me. So I finnaly got him ontop of me.... it got pretty hot.. (I remember now, it was Sunday) ... okay it was hot.. he was fucking hard (I know you don't want to know but sorry) and I felt bad that I was hurting him but he said that no, he was fine. Time ran short and it was time for him to go home but since that night he just can't stay away from me. Monday night came and he was on me again. Thing is his hands stay on the bed or... maybe touch my hips but he just ... is a dead stick unless I tie my string to him. It's cute though... Lastnight.. Tuesday night... I had written him a note at school, asking him what did he truly want... about his life, what was important to him.. and it really got to him.. so at my house he came over drunk and I talked to him the entire time.. for more than an hour... ... told him about how someone told me (Jonathin) that the people who sit around and do nothing all day and don't have jobs, and smoke, give smokers bad names so.. ... I told him that and... that I really didn't have a reason to drink.. and that I used to think people who used drugs were weak and still am uncertin about it... I told him that right not the most important thing was my education and Japanese and my family and stuff.. and.. that boys are not included in it.... ... but.. there was alot said.. and I kept asking him if he wanted me to just shut up but he thanked me instead... saying that it was deathly close to what his uncle told him a few years ago... And I mean it. I didn't touch him... just held his hand.. his alcohol had worn off... so... yeah... ... It was time for him to go, so he said goodnight and kissed me... I pulled him down.. I want to kiss that boy so bad... damnit.. and he has a hunger for me now too.. I can always feel the tension with him.. sometimes when I kiss him, I pull away and his mouth'll just follow me... I tease him.. I love it. But ... I stood and we kissed and he finnaly left.. and today.. he really thanked me.. he said thanks for talking to him and explaining it... ..
Then today.. school was fine.. Javier is nicer now.. comes up to me now.. it's nice... ... Javier also wrote me.. that he needs to stop smoking, either that or hang with a better crowd.. I think I really got to him... he listens... I'm glad.. He said he's really gonna try to get what he wants and try to play basketball.. .. went into town after school with Antony, Javier, Lenka and me.. Anton drove. ... went to the mall played some DDR, kicked Anthony's ass and Javier was too chicken to play me... umm shopped around.. got me a Nike shirt at CHAMPS and bought Javier's mother a doll and my mother one too, an Indian doll. Tomorrow is Christain's birthday, so Jaiver bought him an AND1 ball, I helped pay for it. Got Anton an eyebrowl ring.. umm bought some chips and we went to BigLots after the mall then Wal Mart. It was nice. In Wal Mart and the mall and BigLots.. Javier was all over me, holding my hand, hugging me all kinds of stuff. We were gone for five hours.. it was nice. Lenka bought presents for her family too.. it is nice. Went to Javi's to hide my present for mom... Jaiver took the first chance to kiss me on his couch... by the way he was breathing I could tell he was getting worked up.. he ripped the bottem of my toungue I think it was Monday night maybe Sunday.. so he doesn't suck as hard, which is good... damnit.. he was touching my neck tonight too and gripping my hair.. I .. there is just something about him, he wants me bad... I love it.. I have a control over him.. it's odd but nice...

Can't wait till I spend time with him tomorrow (spent all of Sunday with him, from 10-12) I work all week (x-cept 2day)
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