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superheromindo (profile) wrote,
on 1-4-2005 at 8:44pm
Current mood: was kinda sad but better after talking about choir
Music: orange bowl half time show
Jenn told Braeden that she knew about his crush on Stevi. Ugh. He was never supposed to find out that I'd told at all, and it wasnt supposed to be a big deal because she wouldnt have told anyone. I guess I didnt consider very wisely when I chose my confidant, but wow. I would have thought she'd have the common sense that I didnt want her telling. Ugh. Its what happens when I'm upset. I dont think about what I'm saying, things just spill out. I mean, I didnt deliberately bring up the topic so I could tell Jenn about his crush, but when it came up I certainly didnt hesitate to tell her. It makes me feel like a terrible friend. He'd just gotten over being mad at me and now he's got reason to be madder than before. But he's not mad yet, which is good. Its probably because he's tired though and doesnt have the energy to be furious. It could also be that I apologized times infinity when he mentioned it to me. I dunno. But if Jenn does tell Stevi, or Stevi finds out from somebody else that Jenn told, I'll be furious with Jenn, and Braeden with be furious with me and Jenn, but mainly me, and it'll be a terrible world. I dont want 2nd semester this year to be like 2nd semester last year. I dont want to have to go through all the stress of school without any friends to support me. Cause yeah, last year I had friends, but they had many many many of their own problems which were much worse than mine. So. Yeah. I do my best to be a good friend to him, but I screw up a lot. Being a teenager sucks.

School today was ok, but very very long. Jazz was fun. We talked about Jazz Show before lunch, and then after lunch I had a lesson and worked on Bel Piacere, until I decided I wanted to do the spanish song in the book that I ordered off amazon. Partly because I paid for that book and I want to use it, and party because spanish comes pretty naturally for me, and Ms. Underwood said she doesnt do enough of it. But for fun I might let her give me a german song for the master class she wants me to do. Even though she's worrying more about S&E (solo and ensemble), after a couple weeks, when I've got my song down fairly well, she'll turn to the other songs I need. Yay. I'm actually really excited about doing that during the summer. It will keep me sharp and make me better. I cant wait. Plus, I could always use one or two of the songs for college auditions. Ah! I cant believe those are so close. I'm really excited, but I'll probably get so nervous when they get closer. So then after voice lessons, I came back and for the last half hour Jazz succeeded in learning all of Fly Me Over The Moon or whatever that song is called. Something about the moon and flying, close enough. I'm excited about what songs he's going to give us tomorrow for UIL stuff in A'Cappella. w00t. It'll be fun. Yay. That'll be the highlight of my day tomorrow. I'm done now.

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