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|blackecho101 (profile) wrote, |
on 1-21-2005 at 1:01am
|Music: Story Of The Year - Untill The Day I Die
Subject: forever and not a day shorter
|i was doing so good, making it without letting any of it out, accept the one time on randys sholder and the one time in my room packing, but now its all coming out, im glad its at 1AM that way i dont look like a idiot, but its just got me now, its got me right where it hurts, i told them all that the minunit i put my heart on one thing it would all fucking get ripped away, i TOLD them, but no... i did it anyways, and now it finally hit me, chances are i probably wont see 80% of the p pl i called my best friends last week, and in another 2 weeks ill have all new friends, the scarrs will slowly start to heal, maybe, but they will allways be there, and as for dana, things will never change with her, how did i know that somthing like this would happen? its sad.... i love her so much, it just, i miss her so much allready. i dont know how im going to make it without her, seriously, i cant hold back the tears... why the fuck?!?!?!? this shit hurts... its been awhile since i felt this again, somehow im wondering if it was worth moving. i am going to mave to make this work... this movie isnt helping, if only i could go back and change so much... this is just not what i want... im just not going to be able to do this, i have to make us work, i have to. it will be okay my love, i will make it all better... if only i could promise myself the same... the pain... the fucking pain that hurts so bad, i feel it again, i love you dana and as scared as i am ill never lose you i wont let this happen again!!!!!!!