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mizu87 (profile) wrote,
on 1-21-2005 at 9:16am
Current mood: fine
well I'm at school right now... boy have I not done this in a while. I'm just afraind someone will stumble along this so i'm tring to passward everything but, like hiei, I'm fucking lost at how andy redid all this shit. Well, Jaiver and I have had plenty of talks... I told javier that I couldn't have a boyfriend, not after Brook, that I just really didn't want one anymore.. I snuck out of my house at 11:47 and went to his house.... stayed untill 3:20 or so.... I got locked out of the house (dad lets the dogs out and he locked the door) and so I had to wake up my brother to get in. it was fine. but we talked alot that night and when we fool around things are getting too fucking hott... He told me that he was trying to forget.. and I asked him what, and I was thinking about this girl, well it turns out this girl, his old girlfriend for 1/2 a year told him he was worthless and would never be good enough for anyone, i told him she was lieing... I told him... that he wasn't a stoner, not an alcoholic, not stupid, not ugly, and not useless. he cried.. really hard... that was in my rom. But when I was at his house he told me that he was trying to forget so I thought it was gonna be about that girl.. but he said no.. he was trying to forget what he wanted... me as a girlfriend.. do you know how much that hurt me? ... he is such a friend and he said he wants a girlfriend to forget her and hav esomeone really care about him and accept him on the inside. .... I do love him but only as a friend, a brother... someone close... ... I'm sorry but that's all I can do.
since then I was hoping things would cool between us but he still is over EVERY night and... well.. we can't stop fooling around.. lastnight I told him he doesn't carry anything with him.. and then i asked if he knew what I meant.. he said yes.. and then he said 'but I can' in other words he's gonna start carring a condom with him I guess.. gahh.. damnit what am I doing?
lenka had a fight with her host family so hopefully she'll be comming to live with me! ha ha right? oh well it'd be really cool.

Hopefully mom'll get her taxes (W2 form) in soon so she can help me get that car because they keep borrowing money from me... so mom said she'd help me try and get the car...

... I don't feel safe writing at school....

If you fucking read this anyone from school... then you better let me know you little shit...


... Jahreee where are you? Yusuke? Hiei? ... anyone?
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