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|dmlxoxo (profile) wrote, |
on 1-22-2005 at 12:24am
|Current mood: rejuvenated
|tonight was awesome. not only did i have a really great time, but i realized a lot about the people in our grade and about myself.
i remember when i was 3 years old, the first day i walked into scarsdale ballet and signed up for my first ballet class. i remember i picked out my leotard and my little skirt and my first pair of ballet shoes. i remember how i walked around my house and used to stand in front of the mirror in my parents' bedroom doing first and fifth position with my feet all the time. after that day, i took dance classes for 10 years, until i messed up one of my feet and i had to stop, and its nights like tonight that remind me of why dance was my passion---why dance IS my passion. i spent the entire night dancing my little heart out in my danielle fashion, and i just get this rush from it. i have such a great time. i wish i had just healed my foot when it happened and gone right back, but instead i just let it drag out, and every day that i let it drag out longer that i didnt dance i just became lazy and kind of let it sink into my past. and its nights like tonight that make me regret that so much, something that used to be one of the hugest parts of my life, something i enjoyed and used as my outlet for a lot of stuff---killed, all because of me. someday........
before i went tonight, i must admit i was kind of nervous that it was gunna be awkward for me. i felt kind of like the odd man out. there were mainly 2 groups of friends there tonight, jelkegs, and nekmek. and then there was me, and i was afraid i was going to be out of place between the 2 groups of such tight friends. i was actually nervous that i was going to be out of place. and for the first little bit of the party, i kind of felt the division, but as the night went on and as people danced and warmed up to eachother i found that we all just danced together in one huge group, no divisions, and no awkwardness. i was so impressed by this, that even though we divide ourselves with names and labels and circles of friends, when we're togetehr in a group, we're capable of acting like a whole. this was so comforting to me, and i loved that about tonight. i just had so much fun with people i wouldnt normall get to hang out with, and i really liked that.
i started to write this entry at 12 o clock and its now 1:40. whats wrong with me? and why am i even still up? gosh danielle, go to bed......signing off- dmlxoxo
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