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dragon-bearer (profile) wrote,
on 1-26-2005 at 6:45pm
Subject: Many Things...

Seven things men do that drive women nuts

I believe it was Socrates who said, “Women are insane, and men are dumb.” Then again, it might’ve been Anaïs Nin. Or maybe Simone de Beauvoir. In any event, if women are indeed insane – which I’m not convinced of – it’s only because us men are dumb. I’m not talking dumb in the I.Q. sense, but rather dumb in the clueless sense, especially when it comes to certain aspects of dating and mating.

Be it logistical or emotional, there are things us guys do or don’t do that justifiably raise the collective dander of our girlfriends and/or wives. Here are seven ways to keep your significant other’s blood pressure at a healthy level:

Put the toilet seat down
Guaranteed if you’re not a conscientious seat-putter-downer, you hear this complaint so often that it flies in one ear and out the other. Well, boys, there’s a very valid reason this is a common kvetch: WOMEN DON’T LIKE FALLING INTO THE TOILET WHEN THEY GET UP TO USE THE BATHROOM AT 3:30 A.M.! I mean, would you want to end up with your butt in the toilet at 3:30 A.M.? Didn’t think so.

Clean up
Men are neat, while women are clean. To elaborate: A guy’s place may look perfect; for example, all of his “art” is in its place on the shelves, and the floor is empty of shoes, remote controls, and various other dude detritus. But when your girl examines the shelf area under that aforementioned “art,” there’s a 75% chance she’ll come upon a half-inch coating of dust. Girls, on the other hand, may have a pile of to-be-put-away clean clothes on her bedroom floor, but at least their space is clean. Get it? Good.

Be emotionally available
Another frequent complaint, which isn’t as easy to alleviate as the toilet situation. Many of my male brethren have spent a lifetime bottling up their feelings, and it’s hard to open up just like that. You can’t become a totally communicative guy overnight, but she’ll appreciate if you put forth a legitimate effort.

If you tell her you’ll call her on Thursday, call her on Thursday
You’re not in high school anymore. Quit playing head games, and get dialing.

Groom yourself
Based on personal experience, I know women dislike walking down the street with a guy who doesn’t keep his fingernails clipped, or his shirt and pants relatively wrinkle- and hole-free, or his armpits un-stinky.

Put together an original night out
Dinner and a movie? C’mon, you did that last week. And the week before. And the week before that. One more week, and you’ve officially entered Dullsville. Take her bowling, or to a museum… or any place other than to dinner and a movie.

Be romantic
If your girlfriend finds out one of her girlfriend’s boyfriend gave her a dozen “just because” roses – and the only “just because” gift you’ve ever given your girl is a ticket to a Cleveland Indians game – she’ll want to throttle you. And if that’s the case, you’ll deserve a throttling.
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