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|suspensionrings (profile) wrote, |
on 2-1-2005 at 6:23pm
|. . . Surreal and stupid. Clouds on the sky, seagulls and ice. Wind. The same goddamn rocks, the same goddamn urges. To break [people].
It apparently isn't a problem. He has been up to no good as well. I am relieved. Or, I should be. But yet somehow . . . don't get me wrong, I'm not jealous in the least. Nor bothered by either of us fucking other people.
No, the part that gets me . . . [& put aside your need for metaphors, for imagery, for making so much more intense than it really is.] is that even in the middle of it, all I can think of is Jim.
Dead center of probably the best fuck I'll ever get and I suddenly want to cry from loneliness. What? Someone explain this to me, please. Someone make it all make sense, make it all better, make it all go away. Someone please, for the love of god, plug up this hole in my heart. It hurts.
I finally believe in him, far too late to do anything about it. Maybe, if I'm lucky and clever, I can see him in May. Maybe not.