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crazydimbohead (profile) wrote,
on 2-18-2005 at 4:31pm
Current mood: depressed
Music: depressing music that reminds me of him.
Subject: him.
why, i ask. i dont understand. if i was dead he'd be happy, if i was suffering he'd be happy.... but when im there... when im there hes misserable. i thought he loved me..? i thought i loved him, no i know i love him.. but i hid it.. i didnt want him to know, i didnt want anyone to know.. but you know the saying "you dont know what you have until its gone" thats true.. this isnt the first time i've lost someone, and it wont be the last.... but i feel like i've lost everything. i feel like something is missing now. *crying* he wants time- i'll give him time. im done. its over. all this is telling me that he hates me and never ever EVER wants to have anything to do with me anymore. i just want to go back in time, and fix whatever i did... i want someone to kill me because jake would be soooo much happier if i was dead i bet. thats what he act like- who cares that i cry everynight right? he dont! i have so many things on my mind, so much to say about all this.. its just i dont know how to say it ever....... so im leaving it at this- if you love someone tell them before its to late..... i wish he knew.
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