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|swimchica255 (profile) wrote, |
on 3-8-2005 at 11:07pm
|Current mood: in pain
Music: family guy theme song
Subject: queen of the platform
|yes, that was me. the one who now belongs on a sports blooper show. i'll start at the beginning.
today was my first day back in the water in two weeks. we were swimming in the diving well, and katie and moosh went off tower twice and i really wanted to do it. soooo i ask katie to go up there and do it again so i can go too. we climb all the way to the top of the tower (yes, the 35 foot one that hides somewhere in the mist near the ceiling of canham natatorium). when we get to the top, i'm standing over the edge, looking down. i didn't wait too long because i figured i would chicken out if i did. so katie says, put your arms up and point your toes when you jump. so i jump and do what she tells me, but i'm falling so fast that all of a sudden my feet are swept from under me. i could not get them to point back down, and i realize that i am about to die. it's a lonnnng way down and a lonnnng time to think about how i was going to die, so as you can imagine, i was scared shitless.
and then there was the impact.
i hit the water kind of like i was sitting, with my legs straight out in front of me. the angle was precisely so that the entire backs of my legs, from heel to butt, smacked flat on the water. i imagine it felt similar to the way hitting a concrete wall at 30 miles per hour would. actually, a bed of needles might describe it better. either way, i realized what had just happened, came up from underwater, and heard a long, painful "ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" reverberating inside the room from all the people who saw the jump. i would say anywhere from 15 to 50 people saw the actual incident. during the initial minute after the smack, i was sure that i was going to die, or at least have broken legs. in fact, i was not quite sure that i would even make it to the wall. chris, the diving coach, looked like he was about to dive in after me, and our trainer keenan came running across the pool deck to see if i was hurt. the girls' team, guys' team, coaches, and a group of espn workers saw it happen. not only was this experience the most painful of my life, it was also by far the most embarassing.
and it gets worse, folks.
not only did everyone see it happen, but my graceful descent from platform to somewhere near hell was captured on video. allow me to elaborate. a camera, complete with tivo, is always filming the divers so that they can watch their dives during practice. so my shining moment can be enjoyed by onlookers over and over again, even in slow motion if desired. there's also a pause feature that allows the viewer to stop at the impact and get a great stillframe of the splash.
but wait, there's more.
in addition to a bruised ego, my legs will be feeling the effects of the fall for about two weeks, according to chris. within five minutes my legs were bruised and bleeding, which chris called a skin tear (apparently it happens when your skin swells so fast that it just rips and starts to bleed). right now, it's about seven hours after the smack, and the backs of my legs and my inner thighs have attained an interesting, purplish green hue. and this is only the first day! i anticipate that by tomorrow or thursday they will be completely black and blue, which is going to look really sexy when i'm working out in the training room or stepping onto the deck in a swimsuit. plus it hurts like a bitch.
fortunately for me, my roommate had painkillers left over from when she had an earache(which i had this morning, so she had already given them to me), so at least i won't be in completely excruciating pain for the next few days.
now that the day is over, i wonder what it is about me that has to be brave and reckless all the time? i'm always the first to take a chance just so that i can have fun, impress someone, or have a new experience under my belt. i'm always willing to do things that most other people are afraid of. sometimes i wish i could be cautious and wimpy. a cautious wimp would not jump off of the tower precisely for the reason that pulsates through my swollen legs, but i realize that life would be boring if i was one of those wimps. i would regret spending four years here and never jumping off of the tower, and i probably would have ended up doing it another time if not today. maybe i wouldn't have hurt myself on a different occasion, but there's nothing i can do about it now. most of the people who saw me do it said something like this:
"omg sam, if i were you, i would never jump off a diving board again. just seeing you smack was enough to convince me not to do it ever."
the funny thing is, i'll proably end up doing it again when my legs are healed. i don't want to be afraid of something just because it hurt me once, and i feel like if i don't jump again, i'll just develop a fear. that's not what i want. now that it has become such a big deal, i want everyone to know that i can conquer the tower, as stupid as that may sound. more importantly, ii need to show myself that i can conquer it. i'm not even really afraid of it either. i know that it was me that allowed myself to smack and not the tower. there was no magical force working against me that day that caused my legs to be swept from under me. it was just me being stupid in a situation that i should have probably taken into account as dangerous. i mean, obviously jumping off the tower does not have to be dead serious, and i did it for fun, but i probably should have thought a little more about how i was jumping when i jumped. for now, though, i'm gonna have to ice my legs and my ego and deal with the pain. i'm lucky i have a high pain tolerance, because i have a feeling that most girls would have broke down crying and been terrified of heights for life. now that i know that i can deal with the pain if i happen to smack again, i know that i am going to have to jump again and do it right just to prove myself right. until then, i guess i'll just laugh it off.
and so, my dear readers, i ask that you do not pity me. do not feel bad, or act like you have to pamper me or make me feel weak; instead, just joke about it and smile. i figure it's better for me to laugh about it than it is for me to crawl in a hole and die or never talk to anyone again. even though a room full of people saw me make an idiot of myself, i am still totally awesome. if you see me limping around or emitting a groan of pain after sitting down in a chair, come over and giggle. i can deal with it. i'll even retell the story for you if i want.
you can even give lines like jim richardson, who so eloquently said, "we're going to play this at the banquet!" ( i hope he was joking)
i think what i learned today, and what i'm trying to say about life in general is that we should never take things too seriously or let small things cause a ton of drama. sure, for today, i can bitch or be embarassed about it, but in the long run, it will always be something i can look back on and crack up about. so even when stuff seems kinda shitty, or you're hurting or pissed or sad or whatever it may be, think about how that moment will actually affect you in a month, or a year, or ten years, and you'll probably find that it won't matter. don't sweat it. just do what you think will make it better and hope it works.
okay, i'm done being philosophical for the day. have a good one, y'all.