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|chanel24 (profile) wrote, |
on 3-16-2005 at 6:49pm
|Current mood: cold
Music: the boys are back in town
Subject: big events
|so most importantly, sunday, Julia Young committed suicide. The dean came in and told our class monday morning.. it was horrible. all the teachers were crying and lots of kids were freaking out. Julia and i were very close but i still felt for her and i feel sick to my stomach that i didnt ever get the chance for her and i to talk about what was going on with her. I just reallyyy wish i couldve helped her. im sure i wouldnt be the first choice for her to talk too but i mean, we were civil to eachother, she was nice to me and i was nice to her. i knew that she mustve had some depression/bipolar issues but i didnt know that they were that serious. i just feel soo horrible. i had math with her, and her locker was 2 down from me. everyone at school is still shook up about it. the worst part is Julia's sister, Sadie, found Julia dead in her closet.. Julia hung herself. omg, i just want to cry for sadie soo badly. i can even imagine, well i dont really want to talk about it anymore.
so aside from that, cory asked me out today. kinda weird, i tried to stall for as long as possible cause i had noo fucking idea what i was going to say. so we walked together and he just asked me. he was trying to get my attention and kept like calling my name and i just kinda pretended that i was caught up in another conversation and i even tried to get lost in the crowd.. its kinda bitchy but still. so cory tracked me down and asked me so i just kinda stared at him for a little while and i was like "why?" and he just told me how much he liked me and i just told him that i wasnt sure but even though i dont want to admit it, i know im going to say no. i mean, there was something there but he fucked it up and im really not interested in going back to that same old crap and just ending up getting frustrated and pissed and then us not even being friends. hm.. look at this
cory: uhm nothing but you're the hottest,nicest,most prettiest girl i know and im sorry that im shy in person its just i want to be be perfect for you because you're perfect and i love you...
its sweet but i dont know if that is going to make me change my mind.. oh well. i dont want to worry about it now.
spring break is next week and im going to johannas friday and im prolly gonna end up LIVING at sarah's or hannah's cause we're cool like that. so thats basically my news, im also going to julia's funeral saturday and i really want to go just to feel like im being there for julia but i cant even predict what im going to do.. ill prolly cry. god. alright well im gonna get out of here, later.