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hnybee288 (profile) wrote,
on 4-12-2005 at 6:15pm
Current mood: confused
Music: Smile Empty Soul
I dunno y, but like lately ive been thinking about how im not good enough for Evan. Like its really weird cuz i know we both r really happy but like im still cautious of him. Like i trust him with all my heart but like i cant help but feel that im not seeing the "real" him and that he is holding something back. I am aware that these feelings could be wrong and they probably r, but that feeling is still gonna be there. I think my main problem is that every male person i have known has let me down in some way....like my dad just all together has been a real hazard in my life....my brothers lie to me all the time, and im not the least bit close to my uncles....and like every boy i have liked in school hasnt liked me back and they turned out to be real jerks [except Evan] and i think i have a problem trusting everyone....i dunno exactly y though. Like i really think that im gonna be with him for awhile but like a lot of ppl [mainly adults] have been saying that im deffinatly not gonna be with him for like more than a year....and that puts me down and all that shit is drilled in my head and like i really feel like telling the ppl to shut up cuz they dont know me or him at all. I really dont know how to like describe what im feeling...for all ui know it might just be the feeling of TRUE LOVE....i guess ill never know...im out~~
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