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swimchica255 (profile) wrote,
on 5-6-2005 at 2:10am
Current mood: sleepy
Music: steve miller band- space cowboy
Subject: i dunno
i don't know exactly what i'm writing about. i guess i feel like i should since i haven't written anything in a while. i have a lot of thoughts swimming around in my head whenever i don't write.

i've been home almost two weeks now. it was really boring at first, because there was nothing to do, but this week was a little busier. i started working and swimming, which was definitely a good thing, because i needed to get my lazy booty up and do something productive. i'm gonna go for my first run tomorrow morning...we'll see how that goes.

i leave tomorrow afternoon to babysit my aunt suzy's kids for five days. i'm sort of looking forward to a little getaway from trenton, but on the same note, all my friends are starting to come home from school, so i want to see them. oh well. there'll be time for that.

while i'm babysitting, i pretty much won't have access to a pool, which sort of bums me out. that's the first time i've been able to say that in a while. i really enjoyed training this week. granted, i'm out of shape and my stroke definitely looks like garbage, but i feel really good about myself when i get out of the pool after a workout. plus, these are pretty much a piece of cake compared to what i did up at school all year, so i get a little lift in self confidence.

i've also decided that i'm over the "does he or doesn't he like me?" crap. it's so juvenile. basically i'm going to tell people how i feel about them, including friends and family, because i want to be able to be honest all the time. i wish other people wouldn't tiptoe around their feelings so much or put up this cocky front, because it doesn't make anything any easier for anyone. i'm over caring what people think of me. i think this year of school really helped me to realize that as long as i have the people i love and my goals, i don't need anything else. sooooo i'm back to the basics. i like clean slates.
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