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ladymcgrady (profile) wrote,
on 5-11-2005 at 7:41pm
Subject: :(
i dunno where to begin :-\ i dont even know what to write, i'm just feelin frustrated i guess, with myself mostly, itz around "that wonderful time" again so i'm overly sensitive and lately i've just been really clingy to Bobby, like all i wanna do is cuddle with him and hold hands and hug him and i just felt kinda rejected this past week, like he didnt wanna be cuddly, and itz not his fault in the least cuz he's been sick with a bad cold so i'm feeling really selfish cuz i try to put his feelings above my own and i tried to make him feel better but i dunno, when i'm like this i need extra attention and i dunno, i just wish i could make him happy cuz he seems really tense and sad lately, i know he's probably worried about grades and job hunting and stuff and it just seems like things between us are more tense, i'm not afraid or anything but i'm frustrated cuz i wanna fix it and i dont know how...itz almost like i feel a fight coming on with the way we've been lately and i've been sensing it for bout a week now and i'm just hoping it doesnt erupt into a fight, this alwayz seems to happen right before one of our anniversaries and our 3 year one is coming up and i just want the day to be perfect, whatever we do i'm just looking forward to spending the whole day with him :) i hate this time of the month cuz i'm trying to be there for Bobby but at the same time i'm so on edge that i have to control myself with what i say, i hate it, i just hope that sumthin happens to make him feel better cuz i feel like he's pushing me away :( hopefully he wont shut me out, i just wanna be there for him but i dont know how :( thatz all i have to say...i feel better...not really though, i hope he calls to hang out tonight, itz not lookin good as of now :-\
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