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dazed (profile) wrote,
on 6-7-2005 at 4:25pm
Alright, a lot has happened. I went paintballing right.. well that was fun. I also knew something was up between Jared and I because he was kind of distant. He didn't touch me at all and usually he does. I mean.. he would slap my ass all the time at my brothers and stuff even before last week. Then when I called him to tell him I was on my way to his house he was reallly short with me. THHEENN when I got to his house he kind of stayed away from me. Like we were in the same room maybe 3 times. I swear he didn't slap my ass at all then either but I just got off the phone with him and he said he did. But, anyways. I knew something was up but I just ignored it and then he tried to get me to go off and hang out with parker and that's when he told me he had another girl (date) for tonight and I was like "oh, that's cool" and just walked out. I was walking around the street outside all the way to 11 mile and I was just so shocked i started crying and then it hit me how much I had fallen for him. I guess, everyone was looking for me. I didn't know until a little bit ago though and then I just walked upstairs. I just wanted to be alone. So I went into marks room where he was playing guitar and watched him and then I played for a little while. I went downstairs to get a drink and Parker knew what had happened because I walked into the living room and I saw Sarah "the other girl" and I just had to leave and he just held me. It was nice and I realized I was tired at that moment so I went and layed on the stairs because I wanted my head raised but wanted to be alone. Parker came up to me and grabbed my hand and asked if I was alright and if I needed to talk about anythign he would be downstairs and then he came back up and grabbed my hand again and told me to come downstairs with him to sleep and stuff. So, we end up cuddling and talking about what happened and shit and I fall asleep in his arms. Rachel and Marty had been upstairs this whole time and so when I woke up at 6 I was like yay I can go wake them up. So I get upstairs and wow.. no on is there except mark making eggs and a smoothie. I decided to go back downstairs and fall asleep again and I wake up at about 8 30. I go back upstairs and i try to call rachela nd billion times. She never answers. I finally get a ride home with parker at like... 10 20. Rachel never called me back that entire day. I called her today and she didn't call me back then she started talking ot me online saying she just got the messages and stuff. Heartbreaking. She told me that pretty much everyone knew I was crying and why. Jared didn't know what to do he just kind of left into a room by himself. Shaun a guy that kept hitting on me told her the whole story about jared and sarah, which they just met like two weeks ago their first date was thursday and they started dating friday. I guess he just wanted me to find out at the party too. So I called him today. And was like, I just want to tell you that as far as I'm concerned nothing ever happened between you and I. Everything is going to be like it was before any of this. And he said stuff about not wanting ot hurt me and crap like that and i told him I didn't believe him. I told him he used me and it won't happen again and all this stuff. I told him I knew something was different by the way he was acting towards me so I was kind of ready for it. I was just really emotional because of how much I drank. I was in the depressed stage. Not the happy wanna fuck stage. So yeah, whatever happens happens. Of course that's not all of it.. but the important stuff and it's already really long. So.. write me back and tell me what you think about that whole situation.
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