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|kloppy89 (profile) wrote, |
on 6-9-2005 at 11:30pm
|Current mood: worried
Music: Bloc Party- Helicopter
|sorry i havent written in a while...finals and me ya know...TIME TO VENT
speaking of finals i took my english today and im really worried i didnt do well on it and im just really frustrated that ive worked this hard and in the end i just threw it away...i really dont want my mom to be disapointed in me again, last time was too hard for me. but now i just cant stop thinking about it. pleaz god make me do well on it pleeeeaaaazzzzzz...i wish i didnt have to dwell on things like this all the time. fuck. i probably didnt get into MUN either since im an idiot and forgot the time of the meeting...shit shit shit, it doesnt matter as much to me as much as english does but its just bothering me and sitting in the back of my head. now i have the pressure of math because i fucked up there and shit i have no idea of wat im getting in bio...i dont know how this happened, i cant believe im letting everything fall to pieces...
im really sad to see him go...more than anything i just enjoyed getting closer to him. it was hard for me for a while but its gotten better for me...not great but ive learned to ignore it. he'll soon be gone and i wont have to think about him anymore...but thats the thing, i think about him all the time now, im pretty sure he's gonna pop into my head from time to time...i wish i had never fallen for him, he prob doesnt feel the same way and im making a big deal out of nothing. i really really really want to know exactly how he feels tho...ive been so confused by him lately i dont know wat to think, he's driving me insane. tomorrow's pre-prom and im goin to have to see him...prob for the last time before he goes :( i guess its tomorrow or never to find out how he feels, but i dont know if ill have the courage to do it
on a happier note i had a good time tonight...its been a while since ive just hung out w/ friends and laughed...helped me get away for a bit. i also got to play my new guitar today since school is over. I LOVE IT SO MUCH...anyways i gotta get up early to STUDY more...shit shit i have to do well...damnit ok im out
got some pics from spain! <3 you amanda!