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neverending (profile) wrote,
on 7-26-1996 at 12:10am
Current mood: contemplative
Music: gwen stefani.bubblepopeletric
Subject: humanity can be so disappointing
its been awhile. my comp's been down. i have met a beautiful guy! most of ya'll met him on sunday. Our future is uncertain because he is going to Ohio for college but i think we can make it work. I have shed some tears but it's progressing.i told him i would wait for him until he got back in two years fom now.I know its hard to beleive but guys like him DONOT come around very often. He's sweet, cute, funny, a perfect gentleman, and Godly. i started crying at my party -i felt stupid but its hard for both of us. he held me (and i think i saw a tear) and he said ''this wouldnt be so hard if you weren't so perfect''. We had our first (mouth to mouth) kiss that night.It was one of the most perfect kisses I have had. He said'' you're 16 now...aren't you supposed to get a kiss?'' i smiled through my tears and said ''yes''.we did touch teeth and i kinda giggled and he says ''i'm sorry, I don't have a lot of expirence...''. i hope to God that we are meant to be. he's so different. he's respectful of me which is something i havent much expirenced. Speaking of which I have come to find out that Jay cheated on me twice. I pity him so much. i really do. i probably shouldn't be like this but oh well he is nothing to me. bennet made me realize how beautiful I am on the inside,which means a great deal because Jay made me feel like the scum of the earth and now i look back and realize he is. and you know, he will never ever see it and thats why i pity him mostly. i have heard that he just wants a summer fling but is having trouble finding one.Amazing i find a beautiful relationship when im not even looking and Jay tries to get a measly phsical relationship and he fails.Anyways enough of that.I have had a lot of tension and i feel better now. Things actually are coming into place licence, jobs, work expirence in my field of choice, a relationship, and im going someplace! sweet sixteen and never felt better.... i have gotten to know many of you better -stacy kate and lisa.i love you all very much. You're each so beautiful and spcial to me.
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