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|Shoe23 (profile) wrote, |
on 7-27-2005 at 7:30pm
|I can't believe you're actually gone. It really sunk in as I walked away this evening. It's not going to be a quick 20 minute drive and I'm fixed again scenario anymore. I'm looking at these family pictures I took of you guys and it just knocks every source of life out of me. This will be the hardest transition and adjustment I've ever had to face. I hope things work out better than my pessimistic head tells me they will. I know I'm being extremely selfish... who could avoid it when they've had you around for as long as I've been fortunate enough to.
By all means.. I do wish you the best in your new home. I'll still be a phone call away if you need anything. I hope you take advantage of that.
Other news... back to hell at home. I've already cried once and I've been home an hour and a half. Strength just isn't in me anymore. I'm so emotional now.. the easiest to break. My father is being rough on me this evening. I don't know what I'll do to escape more severe injury tonight. I doubt I will escape it...
The real reason for not committing suicide is because I always know how swell life gets again after the hell is over. I told Evan last night.. I don't think I'll ever make it through my first semester of college. Too many things are hitting all at once for me to balance myself enough to handle them.