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drowning-in-you (profile) wrote,
on 7-27-2005 at 11:04pm
Current mood: curious
Subject: my escape
i'm a chickenshit



that's basically what all of this entry will say...but let me explain why exactly i am a chickenshit...i'm scared...of a lot of things...

let's focus on one though...naps...


what?...let me explain damnit lol...



i hate to be in fights...not physical ones...like fights w/ friends or jeremy or my dad...i hate them...i hate feeling anger w/ them...& i just wish that instead of struggling to try & fix it (even though sometimes it's not always your fault, but maybe theirs), all those problems could disappear...

this is where naps come in...

i think i've always been the type of person to run away from things...when devon & i broke up, i ran back to chc to get away from it...but that didn't work, i still stuck w/ him...we're friends, don't get me wrong...but it was stupid...i don't like dealing w/ things that i don't think i can handle, even if it's small or stupid...so...my thing that i've realized i've done...naps...


got upset w/ jeremy tonight, dunno if he knew why lol...i'm just mean like that, i always get upset for the littlest things & don't expect him to know what he did wrong (if it was even him who did the wrong in the first place)...i just didn't want to pretend i was happy...but i also didn't want to blow up @ him, tell him i was upset, & just yell...i hate doing that...that's all my dad does...i think maybe it's because of my dad that i have a bad temper & am irrational about things...*shrugs*...anywho, so instead of being anything w/ him, i decided to fall asleep...which btw, is really hard to do, cuz you're angry...but yeah...& when i got back to jeremy's house...he started doing something on the computer...& i got angry...& i just layed down & started napping...

napping has become my escape...i don't do it all the time...& granted when i do take naps 95% of the time it's cuz i'm tired...so to those who read this, if i take a nap near you, more than likely i'm not pist...just sleepy lol...but i just wanted to put out there & for my own realization that i do sometimes run away from problems this way...


naps are my escape...talk later...
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